Family Affairs
by AlexaCardew
Summary: "Kids, have I ever told you about the first Christmas your dad and I spent with grandma and grandpa?" Kurt asks fifteen-year-old Ella and thirteen year old Alex who sit on the couch across from him looking bored now that the storm knocked out the power and keeps them from playing video games and Skyping 'that boy' as Kurt likes to call his daughter's boyfriend. 'Oh Father' epilogue
1. Grandma's College Graduation

**Family Affairs**

**AN: **About a year ago I finished the sequel to 'Oh father, where art thou' and I always wanted to write some kind of epilogue because I wanted to follow my characters to college and beyond. I've been collecting ideas all year and to finally get it written I decided to use NaNo for this and two other unfinished projects and it was apparently just the kick in the butt that I needed.

So I give you 'Family Affairs' or as is was titled before the Oh father triquel aka the HIMYM style epilogue. Every chapter starts in 2038 and will tell one story as a flashback. So basically Kurt and Blaine are telling their kids about their lives before they had them.

Finn dies in this story but I will tell you in advance which chapter deals with his death so you can skip it if you don't want to read about it.

Constructive criticism is always welcome and I hope you like the final part of this story. If after the final chapter there are any untold stories you'd like to read about, please let me know.

**Grandma's college graduation.**

Lima, OH, Christmas 2038

"Kids, have I ever told you about the first Christmas your dad and I spent with grandma and grandpa?" Kurt asks fifteen-year-old Ella and thirteen year old Alex who sit on the couch across from him looking bored now that the storm knocked out the power and keeps them from playing video games and Skyping 'that boy' as Kurt likes to call his daughter's boyfriend.

Candles illuminate the Hudmel living room where the whole extended family moved to after the lights went out.

Their ten-year-old nephew Jake had unsuccessfully tried to entertain their two teens for the past fifteen minutes and so Kurt decides to give story-telling a shot before another argument breaks out.

"Seriously, Dad. I don't think there's a single story you haven't told us," Ella replies, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

With her dark curls framing her face there's no hiding that she's Blaine's while Alex looks like he had when he was that age.

"I'm sure that's not true, Ella," Blaine butts in. "Your father and I don't talk about our past that much, right?"

To his chagrin, everyone currently in the living room bursts out laughing. Kurt huffs.

"Oh shut about. I'm sure I've never told you about, about, about your grandma's college graduation," he finally settles on when Carole joined them in the living room.

All three kids share a look.

"Was that … like in the sixties?" Alex asks, brows furrowed in confusion.

Kurt just shakes his head while Carole asks her grandchildren how old they think she is. Blaine squeezes his hand and Kurt snuggles up to his husband. Once he is sure he has everyone's attention he starts his story.

"In May 2013, when your grandma graduated from college, your dad and I, well, let's say things weren't going too well between us…"

May 2013

Kurt knew Carole had invited Blaine and he was certain things were bound to be awkward. Sure they texted from time to time, but they hadn't really talked since Kurt had packed his bags and moved to New York. When Julliard had turned out nothing like he thought it would, he had wanted to tell Blaine so badly, but his pride had stopped him. He couldn't admit what a mistake moving to the city of his dreams had been; couldn't confess that he regretted suggesting taking a break the second the words had left his mouth during their last fight in November.

Since his plane had arrived in Columbus the previous day, he had stopped himself more than once from driving by his old house where he assumed Blaine was staying while he was in town for Carole's graduation.

Fortunately, instead of taunting him with its Massachusetts licenses plates, his car was in the shop because his dad wanted to look it over before he drove it again. For the past few months, it had been parked behind his dad's garage because there was no need for it in New York and he had no reason to drive places outside of the city. When Mercedes and he had met up his friend had come to the city, claiming she missed the rest of their little group. But Kurt knew it was because she knew that everything in Boston reminded him of Blaine.

So currently, because he was a coward and car-less, he was sitting in the Hudmel living room and watched mindless TV with Ethan and his parents' newest charge Unique.

Unique's father had kicked her out when she'd come out as transsexual a few months ago, but luckily she wouldn't need to stay with the Hudmels much longer, because her mother was in the process of divorcing her husband and getting full custody of Unique.

The young girl had attended McKinley the past year with Artie, Tina, Sugar and Sarah, but now that the rest of their old glee club was about to graduate and Ms. Corcoran had taken another job, Kurt was happy she had gotten into Carmel for her junior year and her mother was willing to move to Akron with her.

"Honey, you are fabulous, but not even you can rock the prematurely gone bald look. Stop fretting," Unique's voice brought him back to the present, unfortunately with one hand pulling his hair and the other in his mouth – a nail half chewed off already.

"I, just … Blaine," Kurt sighed, confident that the remaining members of New Direction had filled her in.

Unique raised an eyebrow.

"Carole said you're moving back to Boston after the summer. Tell him if you want him back."

Kurt sighed. Because things couldn't be this easy, right?

"But what if he has a new boyfriend and forgot all about me?" he whined.

"You think he wouldn't have told you?"

Kurt thought about it for a moment. He hadn't told Blaine about the two first dates he'd been on, but he was pretty certain that Blaine would have told him if he was in a serious relationship and their break had become a permanent – we're never going to fix it – break up.

Before he could reply, his dad came into the living room and told them they were leaving in ten minutes for their dinner reservations at Café L'Amour.

It wasn't a place they usually went to, but Kurt knew why his dad wanted Carole to see the place. The restaurant in downtown Lima was closing at the end of the summer and if Carole liked the layout and location, his dad was going to help her get a loan so she could open her own business – like she had dreamed of.

All throughout dinner, he and his dad asked Carole questions about the place and while she maybe thought they'd gone crazy, at least she didn't suspect anything about his dad's plans.

After dinner, Carole pulled him aside.

"Have you spoken to Blaine yet about Boston?" Kurt sighed.

"Not you as well."

"You've been miserable these past few months and I prefer you being happy. I wouldn't have invited him if I didn't think there was a chance of you fixing things."

Kurt nodded. He knew that if he had asked her not to, she would have listened to him. But Carole was important to Blaine as well, so he would never have.

"Enough about me," he changed the subject. "Are you excited about tomorrow? I'm so proud of you, Miss Associate of Applied Science," he told her with a smile on his face. Carole blushed.

"I guess I just needed a push in the right direction," she replied and he knew what she meant.

If he really wanted to make things right with Blaine, he had to swallow his pride and talk to him before he left again. At what point he had no idea because they hadn't texted enough for him to know about Blaine's summer plans.

Soon, but not tomorrow he told himself. Tomorrow was Carole's big day.

* * *

The next morning the family piled into two cars. Finn, Ethan and Unique climbed into his Navigator while his dad drove Carole. Tala and Blaine were meeting them in Dayton.

When they arrived on campus, they quickly reserved a row of seats before Carole rushed off to get changed into her graduation robes. He was just about to sit down when a voice made him look up.

"Kurt, honey, it's so good to see you."

Tala pulled him into a hug, but because he was quite a bit taller than her, he immediately spotted the figure behind her. Blaine had his hands buried in his pockets and was looking everywhere but in his direction.

His hair was longer, curls not gelled down and he looked like he hadn't shaved in a while. Kurt thought he looked gorgeous.

"Blaine," he whispered softly once Tala released him and the other boy finally looked at him.

The smile on his face was fake and Kurt's heart clenched.

"How have you been?" he wondered hoping for a truthful answer.

He didn't know what to do. Should they hug? Shake hands? They were alone all of a sudden and he assumed the family was trying to give them some privacy.

"Good," Blaine replied. "How's the big city treating you? Julliard all you dreamed of?"

Kurt winced and frowned because it almost sounded as if Blaine knew the truth anyway.

"Can we talk about it later," he pleaded and Blaine nodded once before he sat down on the chair the furthest away from Kurt.

Kurt's shoulders slumped and he sat down next to Ethan who had suddenly re-materialized. The young boy patted his knee and Kurt have him a grateful smile.

"Are you okay?" the ten year old asked and Kurt nodded because he really didn't want Ethan do be dragged into what was going on with him and Blaine.

A few minutes later the rest of the family joined them and before long all the rows were filled with family members and friends of the graduates. They cheered loudly when Carole walked across the stage to receive her diploma and Kurt observed that she was actually one of the youngest graduates.

After the ceremony, Carole insisted on taking a ton of picture. Some of all of them, a few of just Kurt, Finn and Ethan, and just Carole and his dad. And before he could argue, Carole dragged him next to Blaine and pushed them together.

He felt Blaine stiffen next to him, but smiled brightly when Carole ordered them to.

"You'll thank me later," she told them once she was satisfied with the picture.

As soon as Blaine was out of sight, Kurt grabbed Carole's camera and flipped through the pictures until he reached the one of him and Blaine. They looked like nothing had happened between them; their faces close together and smiles on their faces. If he didn't know better he would think the two people in the picture were just as happy and in love as in the picture Blaine had given him for their first anniversary.

It made tears well up in his eyes and he excused himself for a moment. In the bathroom, he splashed cold water onto his face and took a few calming breaths.

'Get a grip,' he muttered but froze when the door opened behind him and he saw Blaine walk in through the mirror.

"I don't have to join you for lunch if it makes you uncomfortable," Blaine said, hands in his pockets again and shoulders slumped.

Kurt immediately shook his head and turned around.

"Don't go. I've missed you," he admitted as he tried to keep the tears at bay.

Blaine stared at him for a moment before a small smile appeared on his face.

"I've missed you too. And if you still want to talk – I'm free tomorrow. My flight back leaves the day after tomorrow."

Kurt nodded. He was itching to find out why Blaine was going back to Rhode Island for the summer, but a college bathroom really wasn't the right place and the family was waiting for them.

They left the bathroom together, but as they walked next to one another, there was a distance between them Kurt was desperate to close. To withstand temptation he shoved his own hands into the pockets of his tight black jeans and hurried along next to Blaine.

Fortunately, no one said anything when they returned together and the families split up into three cars again. His dad had gotten a reservation for a nice restaurant in Dayton and they arrived there quickly because it wasn't far from campus.

Because of Carole's meddling, he and Blaine ended up next to each other again, but luckily Ethan sat on his other side and was all too happy to tell Kurt about everything that had happened in his life in the past few months while Blaine was talking to Finn on his other side.

After ordering drinks and entrees to share, his dad cleared his throat and Kurt sat up straighter.

"What did you think of Café L'Amour, Carole?" he asked his wife, aiming for casual but not really succeeding.

"To be honest, the food wasn't that great. Probably explains why a place in such a great location was pretty much empty," she replied evenly.

The smile on his dad's face got bigger.

"So what would you say about taking over. Opening your own place?" he asked.

"Burt? What's going on?" Carole sounded confused but there was excitement in her voice as well.

"The restaurant is closing at the end of August so I talked to the owner of the building and told him we are interested in taking over the lease. I talked to the bank as well about a loan and as long as I co-sign it, it wouldn't be a problem."

Kurt waited with baited breath for Carole's answer. They were all aware that she wanted to do it on her own is she ever got the chance but this was an opportunity she shouldn't miss.

Sensing his wife's objections, his dad continued.

"I know you've been talking to Tala about it – about how you want to do it together – and just so you know, she's in."

Next to Carole, Tala nodded shyly.

"I've been taking book-keeping classes, so we'd really only need someone to help out in the kitchen. You and I can do the cooking and alternate as servers, just like we talked about," she added.

Everyone at the table was staring at Carole who seemed to mull everything over. Finally, a big smile appeared on her face.

"It looks like 'South-East Fusion' is finally happening," she told Tala before she pulled her into a tight hug.

Kurt clapped his hands together excitedly.

"I have tons of ideas for redecorating the place. I just hope we get everything done before I move back to Boston in the fall."

The table suddenly went quiet and next to him, the sound of a fork hitting a plate, sounded twice as loud as it probably was.

Slowly, because he was afraid of what he would see on Blaine's face, he turned around to face the other boy.

Blaine was staring at him, shock written across his face.

"I told you we had to talk," he tried to quip, but it came out more pleading than anything else.

He saw Blaine look over to his mom and Carole, big smiles on both their faces, before he looked back at Kurt and nodded once.

"Tomorrow."

Christmas 2038

"Wait! You and papa broke up in college?" Ella exclaims, looking shocked.

Alex and Jake look surprised as well because they've never told the kids that they kind of broke up their first year of college.

"Well, yes. But not for long," Blaine replies while he glares at Kurt. 'Great story,' Kurt reads in his glare.

"But how can it be your 30th anniversary next fall if you broke up?" his daughter huffs and glares at her dads, something Blaine insists she learned from him.

"Sweetie, your dad and I, we've been together for nearly thirty years. In the grand scheme of things, those six months really don't matter and when we got back together we decided to just pick up where we left off. It was more of a break than a real break up anyway," Blaine reassures the kids.

"So what happened?" Alex asks and Kurt shares a look with Blaine.

"You go first, honey," Kurt tells his husband. "So I can just fill in the rest later."

Blaine pulls him closer and Kurt rests his head on his husband's shoulder as he begins the story.

"In the fall of 2012 I was starting my first semester at Brown University while your dad was attending Berklee College of Music in Boston with your aunt Mercedes."


	2. Papa's version of our break

**Chapter 2: Papa's version of our break**

Christmas 2038

"In the fall of 2012 I was starting my first semester at Brown University while your dad was attending Berklee College of Music in Boston with your aunt Mercedes. And I immediately fell in love with it.

2012

Blaine took to Brown like a fish takes to water. His classes were interesting, the campus beautiful, and the student body diverse, introducing him to students from all over the world. Fortunately, his roommate had no problem with him being gay or Kurt visiting and spent most nights in his girlfriend's room.

As Mark explained, the only reason they weren't rooming together were his parents, devout Catholics who didn't think couples should live together before they were married. Mark and his girlfriend were high school sweethearts just like he and Kurt, he played the guitar in a small band and loved pizza just as much as Blaine. He had definitely hit the roommate checkpot.

During orientation he met a group of like-minded students who put on musicals – usually gender swapping the roles – and Blaine immediately signed up. They met for the first time before classes even started and Blaine was amazed by the talent in the group. He immediately signed up to audition for Maurice, the male version of Maureen in the group's version of 'Rent', and to his surprise got cast opposite Pierre, a foreign exchange student from France, playing John.

Labor Day weekend he drove up to Boston and spent the day exploring the city with Mercedes and Kurt, before he invited his boyfriend out to a romantic dinner at a restaurant close to the harbor. When they returned to Mercedes and Kurt's shared room Mercedes was gone, only leaving a note saying she would text them before she returned.

After not seeing each other for nearly two weeks, they tore off their clothes, too impatient to take the time to undress one another. Once they recuperated from round one, Blaine took his time to map out Kurt's body with his lips, before making love to him. They didn't leave the bed, even though they barely fit into it, until Mercedes texted Kurt the next morning, telling him to put his clothes back on.

They shared a shower – to conserve water of course – and asked Mercedes to join them for lunch as a thank you for giving them the room. After lunch, Mercedes and Kurt showed him around campus and Blaine made a mental note to return the favor the following week when Kurt would visit the Brown campus for the first time.

The first few weeks they took turns visiting the other, taking advantage of the fact that their schools were only an hour apart if traffic was good. But then Blaine had to cancel because he had rehearsals and Kurt had already made plans with his study group knowing that he could leave Blaine with Mercedes for a bit.

Because Kurt sounded pissed that he canceled last minute, he drove up to Boston Sunday afternoon to surprise his boyfriend even if it was just for a few hours. Kurt was ecstatic to see him and talked about how much he was looking forward to moving to New York because then they could be together all the time.

It was when Blaine realized that he had fallen in love with Brown and didn't want to leave at the end of the semester. But Kurt looked so happy talking about New York, that Blaine didn't say anything. It was only October after all, plenty of time for Kurt to fall in love with his own school and change his mind about transferring as well.

Of course ignoring the difficult topics was never a good idea and it all came head to head a month later when Kurt was in town so that they could look for an apartment together. He had feigned enthusiasm when Kurt had talked about nothing but New York the past few weeks, but for him they had only cemented that he wanted to stay in Providence.

"What about that one? It's about halfway between our schools." Kurt pointed at the third apartment on the webpage they were looking at. "I know it's not the cheapest but if we share the rent and both get jobs we should be able to make it."

He knew then that he had to be honest with Kurt, consequences be damned. They could still visit – maybe not every weekend because they'd have to deal with a three hour drive but they could still make it work.

"I'm not transferring to Columbia. I love Brown and I'm going to stay here," he finally said, bracing himself for Kurt's reaction.

His boyfriend just stared at him at first before he started laughing hysterically.

"You're kidding right? That's just your weird idea of a joke?"

Blaine shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear but we can still make it work. It's just three hours."

Kurt stopped laughing.

"You're not doing this to me. To us! We were supposed to move in together after junior year and when you moved in with your mom instead, I understood and I supported you, but this. This is not what we agreed on. We agreed to transfer to New York after our first semester so we could be together. How can you say you love me when you apparently don't want to be with me anymore."

Blaine couldn't believe Kurt was dragging senior year into this. And while he really didn't want to fight with Kurt about this, there was something he couldn't stop himself from saying.

"You seem to forget that I already got into Columbia and deferred my admission so I could be closer to you. Plans change Kurt. And I'm not saying I never want to move to New York. Just not right now," he tried his luck nevertheless.

Kurt just kept shaking his head.

"You can't think I would be okay with four years of long distance? Do you want to be with other guys? Is this what this is about?""

Blaine shook his head frantically.

"I love you Kurt, but I'm happy here. I don't want to resent you one day for following you to New York."

Kurt looked at him like he had just compared Lady Gaga to Hitler.

"Why would you resent me? It's New York, Blaine!"

"And it will still be there after I graduate, unless one of those natural disaster movies comes true," he tried to joke but Kurt just crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm moving to New York after Christmas, Blaine. And you're either coming with me or I think we should take a break to reevaluate our relationship. See if we still want the same thing."

The ultimatum came out of the blue and for a moment he considered just giving in right now to make the fight go away. But something was holding him back.

"Kurt, come on. Don't be like that. Of course I still want the same things." He tried to put his hand on Kurt's arm, but his boyfriend pulled back and took a step back.

"I've got to go. Call me when you've come to your senses," Kurt spat, visibly angry and Blaine didn't try to stop him again.

He felt like his heart was trying to jump out of his chest as he watched Kurt leave, but stayed rooted on the spot.

Christmas 2038

"Dad said you broke up. Does that mean you didn't move to New York with him?" Ella asks when Kurt gets up to refill their cups.

Blaine nods and his daughter smacks him over the head with a pillow.

"Dick move, Papa."

"Ella, language! And I love my alma mater. I don't regret staying at Brown."

"But what about Dad?" Ella argues while Alex watches them like they're playing ping pong.

Blaine smiles at his husband who is balancing five mugs of hot chocolate before he points at his kids.

"Not to spoil the ending, but there will be a happy ending."

Ella rolls her eyes before her eyes light up.

"Did you date someone else while you and dad were broken up."

"Were on a break," he and Kurt say in unison before Kurt smirks.

"Well, were you?"

2013

"Why don't you go out with that dude from your 'Tonal Music Theory class," Mark asked in late January, after school had been in session again for two weeks. "He's been hitting on you for months and now that you're single maybe you should say yes."

He and Kurt hadn't spoken again after Blaine told him that he was staying in Rhode Island regardless of Kurt's plans to move to New York. Christmas was a quite affair this year, after his mother declined their invitation to the Hudmel's Christmas party because she didn't want him to be alone on Christmas. It wasn't boring though because Cooper showed up late on Christmas Eve and stayed till New Years after which he returned to L.A and Blaine drove back to school.

His only contact to Kurt's family after they took a break was Carole, who called him to let him know that Kurt had indeed left Boston and was now living in New York. That night he was pissed Kurt hadn't told him himself so he sent him a text, saying 'best of luck, I hope it's worth it.' Unsurprisingly, Kurt hadn't texted back.

"Dude are you even listening to me?" Mark interrupted his train of thought.

"You know who I mean, right? That guy that was all over you the one time we went clubbing." Blaine nodded but made a face.

"Eli. You really want me to go out with a guy who didn't care that I was in a relationship when he was continuously hitting on me? Trust me, if that class wasn't a prerequisite I would have dropped it just to get away from him."

Mark wasn't faced by his little rant and just looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Okay, no to that Eli dude. But what about that guy from your theater group. Joey?" Mark suggested next. Blaine shook his head again.

"He is straight. You are a horrible wingman. Not that I need one. Kurt and I didn't break up, okay. I don't think we'll have a chance of getting back together if he thinks I'm cheating on him."

"I feel you, man. I don't know what I'd do if Becca ever broke up with me."

When he first met Mark, Blaine had loved that they both were with their high school sweethearts, but now, it just felt like he was rubbing it in.

"And how do you know he isn't seeing anyone in New York? There must be tons of gay dudes at Julliard."

Blaine threw a pillow at Mark.

"Stereotype much?" Mark just laughed before he grabbed his bag and left to meet his girlfriend.

Later that night Blaine texted Santana, because while she and Kurt weren't BFFS like Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel, she was Blaine's and she'd do what she could for him.

'Is Kurt seeing someone? Don't tell him I asked.'

Santana reported back that Rachel was trying to set him up with a guy she was in a play with, but it still took him till early March until he let Mark set him up on a date.

Mike was a junior, majoring in architecture like his roommate, and he was perfectly nice and quite good-looking. The only problem was that he wasn't Kurt. So he cut their date short before they could order dessert because Blaine didn't want to lead him on. Mike didn't take it too hard, fortunately, having recently ended a long-term relationship as well. He did offer his rebound services, but Blaine felt bad enough just being on a date with a guy that wasn't Kurt.

Who was absolutely miserable in New York according to Santana. They'd texted a few times since February, starting with drunk text Kurt sent him in the middle of the night a few days before Valentine's Day, telling him how much he missed him. The next morning Kurt texted again to say Santana had stolen his phone, but after that they texted every now and then; mostly about trivial stuff like the outfit of one of Kurt's classmates or a fabulous restaurant he had eaten where he came across Woody Allen.

Thanks to Santana he knew that Kurt was just pretending to be happy, but he didn't want to be the one to call him out on it. Kurt had insisted on the break, so the ball was in his court as far as Blaine was concerned.

His second date with a fellow music major was in April and this time he stayed till the end. Andrew liked talking about himself more than anything but they had a fun evening. One that Blaine wanted to cut short nevertheless, until Santana sent him a text while Andrew went to the bathroom.

'Kurt's on a date', was all she sent and Blaine stayed for dessert. That night he let Andrew kiss him goodnight, but when the other boy didn't call him again, he felt relived. It had been just a kiss, but it had felt wrong and Blaine realized that he couldn't date someone else until he knew for sure that his relationship with Kurt was over for good.

Santana texted him again the next morning and let him know that Kurt decided never to go on a blind date again, because this guy was even worse than the first one Rachel had tried to set him up with.

For the rest of the semester he focused solely on school and spent weekends with his theater group, where he was the only single gay guy and didn't have to worry about someone coming on to him.

To his surprise his Theory of Tonal Music II professor offered him a job before the semester let out. Professor Richardson was putting on 'Carmen' for a summer musical festival and needed someone to play the piano during rehearsals. Rehearsals wouldn't start until early June so he had time to go home and stay with his mom for a bit.

The day of his last final, Carole called. They spoke once a month, but Blaine was surprised to hear from her because they had just talked a few days ago.

"I forgot to invite you to my graduation the last time we talked. I really hope you can make it, because you are family regardless of whether you and Kurt are together or not," his second surrogate mother told him and Blaine felt a bit chocked up.

"I'll be there," he promised before he could change his mind about it.

It was high time he and Kurt saw each other again and talked about things. Because things couldn't stay the way they were now. The not knowing, at this point, was even worse than breaking up, because he was still hopeful that they could make it work.

So he resolved that if he and Kurt hadn't had an honest talk before the end of the summer he would break up with Kurt permanently and try to move on. Their situation wasn't fair to either one of them, and if Kurt didn't have the guts to end it if he really didn't want to be with Blaine anymore then Blaine would have to suck it up and just do it.

Christmas 2038

"So you knew Dad was miserable but didn't say anything?" Ella asks, looking unimpressed. Even though she's biologically Blaine's, she looks so much like Kurt in this moment.

"I was still angry and thought the ball was in his court. And we were only 18 and 19. In some ways we were still just kids," Blaine explains and his husbands nods before he kisses Blaine's cheek.

"But why didn't you like New York, Dad?" Alex asks Kurt. "We've lived there all our life and you seem happy."

"I guess the timing just wasn't right and I hated school…"


	3. Dad's version of our break

**Chapter 3: Dad's version of our break**

Christmas 2038

"I guess the timing just wasn't right and I hated school…"

2013

Kurt arrived in New York two days after New Year's Eve. He had spent New Year's Eve at a New Directions' party Blaine hadn't shown up to. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, because on the one hand he already missed Blaine so much, but on the other hand he still felt like he was in the right.

After driving his car home from Boston he deposited it behind his dad's garage because he would have no use for it in New York. Mercedes of course was sad to lose her roommate but Kurt promised her to visit soon and that she was always welcome to come to New York.

Rachel sat next to him on the plane while Santana and Brittany took the row behind them. The two girls were sharing Santana's dorm room at NYU and Kurt didn't even want to know how Santana got her real roommate to not spill the beans about them.

Rachel, to no ones surprise, had moved in with Jesse right after graduation and they shared an apartment with another couple in Brooklyn, which was why Kurt had no choice but to move into the Julliard dorms. According to the information he had received he was taking over from a student who was studying abroad this semester and Kurt hoped he would get along with his new roommate as well as he had with Mercedes.

They arrived at LaGuardia airport early in the afternoon and Kurt was glad because he didn't want to navigate New York for the first time on his own when it was dark outside. He had only brought two suitcases and a duffle bag filled with toiletries because his dad had promised to mail whatever else Kurt needed and again he was grateful for his reduced luggage when he and the girls climbed onto the M60 in front of the terminal along with other tired New Yorkers and tourists trying to save money on cab fare.

He had to say goodbye to the girls on the bus as they were switching to the subway before they got to Manhattan and Kurt bent over his suitcases to hug all three of them. They made plans to meet for dinner the next day in a vegan restaurant in Brooklyn and Rachel promised to text him how to get there.

Once the girls were off the bus he checked his New York transit app again to make sure he knew what subway to change to and where to get off. The sun was disappearing between the buildings half an hour later when Kurt got off the 3 train on W 72nd street and hauled his suitcases up the stairs because the elevator was out of order.

It wasn't hard to find his school but for a while he wandered around aimlessly, trying to locate his dorm, while the cold wind made him shiver and regret that he didn't wear a hat and a stylish but thin scarf. Luckily, the second person he asked for help was actually a Julliard student who pointed him into the right direction but he didn't like the way she looked at him when he explained that he was only starting this semester when she asked why he didn't know where the dorms are.

He had received his key along with other information about the school and Kurt exhaled deeply once he was inside and his fingers slowly defrosted. He garnered a few curious looks as he dragged his luggage to the elevator but the hallway on the second floor was empty and so was his room. It didn't surprise him because classes didn't start for another two days and Kurt had wanted to arrive earlier to explore the city and find his away around Julliard.

After he unpacked he called his dad to assure him he arrived safely and was doing okay, before his dad passed him on to Ethan who talked about the snowman he had built with Finn while Uncle Burt took Kurt to the airport. Carole was over at Tala's according to his dad, reminding Kurt of the one person he wanted to call about all this but couldn't, because Blaine had ruined everything by not even considering moving to New York with him.

They could have shared their first apartment right now and Kurt wouldn't have to sit around and wait to meet the stranger he was going to live with for the next few months. Hopefully, he, Santana and Brittany could move in together next fall, because apart from the year he spent at Dalton, he never had to share a room, and at Dalton he at least had known that he wouldn't get harassed for his sexuality.

Kurt went to bed early that night, dreaming of showing Blaine around New York, picnics in Central Park and ice-skating in front of Rockefeller Center. It was a dream he didn't want to wake up from, but unfortunately he had set his alarm for 7 so he could start his exploring early.

After wandering around the neighborhood all morning, freezing his ass off again and getting his shoes wet because the snow that had fallen overnight had turned into grey slush, he visited the school cafeteria for lunch. For how much this semester was costing him, he expected to get decent food unlike in high school and fortunately, Julliard didn't disappoint.

He got some salad and a chicken dish and sat down on one of the empty tables. It was fairly busy but he didn't know anyone yet and wasn't brave enough to just sit down next to strangers and try to start a conversation. He could feel people's eyes on him however and his question whether that was a good or a bad thing was answered soon.

"I take it you are our newest fall reject?" a tall boy with short blond hair and a dancer's body stopped in front of Kurt's table.

Kurt frowned but didn't show that the insult hurt him.

"If you are asking if I'm a new student then yes you are right. Kurt Hummel and you are?" The other boy smirked.

"Tom Ellen. Remember the name so that when I'm famous you can tell people I once talked to you."

With that he turned and joined a group of people at a table close by. Another boy was high fiving him while the two girls sitting with them were sniggering while they looked in Kurt's direction. Kurt just shrugged it off. After years of bulling, he could easily handle a few arrogant drama students.

Later that night he met Peter, his roommate and, as he would later learn, his girlfriend of the week. They mostly ignored Kurt and made out on Peter's bed and when it got late the girl didn't leave to his surprise. That night he learned more about straight sex than he ever wanted to know and the next morning he immediately went out and invested in a pair of noise cancelling headphones before heading to his first class.

Because he had only been at Berklee for one semester he wasn't considered a transfer student and basically had to start fresh. Which also meant that he could only enroll in a limited amount of classes this semester, most of them being part of the liberal arts requirement. Kurt had always liked languages so he was looking forward to learning Italian, but it sucked that he couldn't get into an acting class until the next fall.

That first day he also discovered that his voice coach was a huge jerk who seemed to have it out for everyone who didn't plan to be an opera singer. When Kurt mentioned the word musical when he was asked about his career goals Mr. Ryan sneered.

"Why are you even here then? You are just wasting my time," he glared at Kurt while the rest of the class was enjoying the show.

"My only countertenor this year and he wants to waste it on musicals," Mr. Ryan muttered as Kurt tried to blend in with the wall he was standing in front of and a few of his class mates sniggered; probably the opera bound ones Kurt deduced.

After a long day of only semi interesting classes Kurt dragged himself back to his room, only to find Peter in bed with another girl. Kurt squeaked and crouched down to pick up the bag he had dropped in shock.

"Can't get into my room. Are you busy tonight?" he texted the girls while he hurried down the hallway.

"Sorry, but Jesse just got back home today," Rachel replied promptly and to his chagrin Santana and Brittany already had plans as well.

After a quick dinner during which people were mostly staring at him, Kurt headed over to the library to work on his Italian homework and get some reading done. No one bothered him in the library and Kurt stayed until it was ten o'clock and he decided that he had given his roommate enough space.

The rest of the week it went on like that. Peter brought home a different girl nearly every night – the type of girl who didn't seem to care that someone else was in the room as well – and the few students who had talked to him had only done it to make fun of him for not getting admitted in the fall. They thought they were better than him and even the few other students who had only started attending Julliard in January as well stayed away from him for some inexplicable reason.

The Saturday after his first week Rachel invited him over to her apartment after he spilled the beans about his horrible first week. That night, he, Rachel and Jesse got drunk on cheap wine and ate unhealthy greasy pizza in an attempt to cheer him up and for the first time in a week he got a good night's sleep on Rachel's couch even though his head was killing him the next morning. Fortunately, neither Rachel nor Jesse mentioned that he had started crying about Blaine after drinking a bottle of wine and Kurt was grateful that they didn't try to meddle with his relationship or whatever it was that was going on between him and Blaine.

Once his head stopped pounding and he didn't feel like throwing up anymore whenever he moved his head, he headed back to his dorm and called his dad on the way there.

"New York treating you okay so far?" his dad asked when Kurt was changing subways and the reception was back.

He hadn't lied to his dad in a while, but Kurt couldn't admit the truth. That so far he wasn't happy and while New York as a city was exciting he didn't feel like he belonged.

"It's great. All I ever dreamed of," he replied enthusiastically, thanking the acting lessons he had taken in Boston.

They kept talking until his phone lost the signal again and a severely inebriated older man used Kurt to stay upright on the 1 train. Outside it was snowing lightly again and Kurt wished he had someone to take a stroll through Central Park with or had managed to convince the girls to go ice skating with him.

Fortunately, Peter was gone when Kurt returned to their room and got started on his assignments for the coming week. He practiced his voice exercises in an empty rehearsal room and took a trip to the school's gym. But neither distracted him from the fact that something was missing from his life here in New York and even though he'd only been here for a little over a week, he felt lonely.

Life went on but things didn't get much better. He barely saw the girls because they all were on different schedules and Kurt had found a job waiting tables in a coffee shop close to his dorm. Because he hadn't received a scholarship for Julliard the semester cost him 51 000 dollars, which left him with another forty grand from the insurance money and made him get a job and reapply for a scholarship for the following year. His dad had offered more than once to help out if necessary but Kurt knew that no one in his family had enough money to cover his tuition fully and he wanted to avoid student loans for as long as possible.

Finally, the weekend before Valentine's Day, Mercedes and Quinn came down for a visit and they all managed to get together for a small New Directions reunion in Rachel's apartment. After a few cocktails, Mercedes was the first who broke, lamenting the fact that she would be single on Valentine's Day while Kurt tried his best to shove all thoughts about the day to the back of his mind. He may not have been a big fan of the holiday before Blaine, but he had come to appreciate it since then.

Kurt usually didn't drink much, so he should have made sure someone took away his cell phone before Santana broke out the tequila. To get them all drunk faster she put a sickeningly romantic comedy into the DVD player and they all had to drink a shot whenever a character said the word 'love.'

Kurt didn't remember much about the night after the first half hour of the movie when he woke up the next morning and barely made it to the bathroom before he emptied his stomach. Rachel and Jesse were nowhere to be seen when he finally dragged himself out of the bathroom in search of aspirin, but Santana and Brittany were curled up together on the living room couch, while Mercedes and Quinn shared a pillow on the carpet beneath them.

After swallowing to pills and a pint of water he went in search of his phone and only then did he learn what he had done the previous night. He had drunk texted Blaine that he missed him – surprisingly without misspelling anything – and it freaked him out because he couldn't let Blaine know that he was beginning to think that coming to New York might have been a mistake.

"Sorry, drank a bit too much last night and Santana stole my phone," he typed with shaking hands before he turned off his phone in case Blaine texted back because he couldn't deal with it right now.

On Valentine's Day he bought a cheesecake and tub of vanilla ice cream and cried his eyes out over 'the Notebook' until Peter returned with his date. He quickly hid underneath the blanket because he didn't want his roommate to know he had been crying. Peter wasn't one of those who made fun of him, but they barely talked and even after one and a half months were still basically strangers.

The weekend after Valentine's Day Rachel dragged him to a bar that was mostly frequented by the AMDA crowd.

"You've been moping around long enough," she told him after somehow procuring two apple martinis for them. "You're in the greatest city on earth and you're not even taking advantage of it. So I'm going to help you out."

Kurt didn't like the glimmer in her eyes and he looked around nervously.

"What did you do Rachel?"

Rachel just smiled brightly before she waved at someone behind him. A few moments later they were joined by a tall men with blond hair who looked like he could be Chandler's older brother.

"Adam, this is Kurt. Kurt this is Adam. He's a senior at AMDA and he is from Britain."

The stranger held out his hand and Kurt shook it because it was the polite thing to do.

"It's a pleasure meeting you Kurt. Rachel told me so much about you."

"Did she now?" Kurt addressed Rachel who suddenly looked everywhere but at him before she dug out her phone from her purse.

"Oh, Jesse just texted me that he got out of rehearsal early. Kurt, I'll call you. Have fun."

And with that she disappeared while Kurt glared after her. When he turned back around Adam was sitting in her chair.

"So Rachel tells me you attend Julliard. I remember my second semester, getting ready for the big presentation."

Kurt shifted in his chair.

"Oh, I just started actually. I went to school in Boston in the fall because I didn't get in at first." Adam frowned.

"Well, I wouldn't know about something like that. I got accepted into LAMDA before I even finished my A levels but my agent and I both agreed that it would make me a more well rounded performer if I continued my education in another country."

"LAMDA?" Kurt asked, inwardly rolling his eyes because of course Rachel would set him up with another snobbish drama student.

"The London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts. Surely you've heard of it," Adam clarified while he tried to flag down a waiter.

"I'm sorry. I haven't been out of the country yet." Adam nodded but Kurt could tell he wasn't even listening.

"Want another drink? I'm buying," Adam said when he finally had the attention of a waiter.

"I probably shouldn't. I'm underage," Kurt reminded the other men who just rolled his eyes.

"You Americans and your weird laws. How can you be underage at 18? 19?"

"19, but…" Kurt didn't get to finish as Adam turned to the waiter and ordered two cocktails for them.

It wasn't like Kurt was against drinking but Adam was already getting on his nerves and he was trying to find a polite way to leave soon. The accent had sounded charming at first but he wasn't interested in meeting someone new and Adam's attitude reminded him too much of the students in his classes.

The problem also was that he had nowhere to go. He didn't know what he would walk into in his dorm room and had actually planned to ask Rachel if he could sleep on her couch again. But he couldn't be mad at her because he knew she had just wanted to help him get out of his funk.

While Adam prattled on about all the productions he had been in so far – in New York _and _London, Kurt mentally reorganized his closet and took a few sips of the sweet concoction the waiter had put in front of him until he decided he had spent enough time at Callbacks.

"I'm sorry Adam, but I'm going to have to go now. I made plans with some friends early tomorrow morning," he tried to excuse himself before Adam could order two more drinks.

The older man looked surprised and tried to get his phone number so they could set up a second date. Kurt had only even been on dates with Blaine but if that had been a date he surely wasn't interested in a second.

"Look Adam, I don't know what Rachel told you about me, but I'm not really available. My boyfriend and I, we're just taking a break right now because I live in New York and he doesn't but we're trying to work things out."

It was a lie because he hadn't even spoken to Blaine since late November but that was none of Adam's business.

"Right, the high school boyfriend. Your friend mentioned him. Why don't I give you my number and you call me when you are ready for a grown up relationship. You are hot; don't waste it on waiting around for some guy you 'loved' when you were sixteen."

Kurt didn't dignify that with a response and threw a couple of dollar bills on the table before he grabbed his coat and bag and left without saying goodbye. Adam didn't try to stop him, which was probably for the best.

As soon as he was outside he dialed Rachel's number.

"What were you thinking?" he yelled. "First of all, I'm not single and that guy was a pretentious douche."

Rachel sounded apologetic when she replied.

"I'm sorry Kurt, but I thought the point of taking a break was seeing who else is out there. And Adam, well we're in the school play together and I know how much you like 'Downton Abbey' so I thought…"

Kurt cut her off before she could ramble on.

"Alright, I forgive you for Adam. But I'm not looking for someone else. I don't want to end things with Blaine and as soon as he comes to his senses…"

"But what if he doesn't change his mind, Kurt. Are you planning to be alone forever if you can't have Blaine?" He didn't like Rachel's question because he knew she was right.

"Of course not."

"So give me another chance. Let me introduce you to someone so you know what your options are."

Kurt mulled it over for a moment. Maybe he would enjoy New York more if he had someone to share it with. But just the thought of dating someone who wasn't Blaine made him feel sick.

"It's too soon, Rachel. Maybe in a few months." Another gust of cold wind blew through the alley he was standing in front of and Kurt wrapped his arm around himself to keep him warm.

"Alright. Do you still want to come over? One of my classmates scored me a bootleg copy of 'Book of Mormon'."

"Jesse won't mind?" Kurt asked because a night on Rachel's couch sounded heavenly.

"He knows you are my best friend and he has me every other night."

"TMI, Rachel," he teased her as Rachel sputtered indignantly. "But thanks for the invite. I'll be there in about thirty minutes," he estimated before he disconnected the call and looked up the fasted way to Brooklyn.

* * *

When Santana let it slip a few weeks later that Blaine had been on a date, he finally agreed to let Rachel set him up on another date. It was a disaster and Kurt wondered where Rachel found those guys and why she thought they were right for him.

Daniel went to AMDA as well and was in his third year. He had just returned from a semester abroad in Rome and proceed to tell Kurt all about the hot guys he had slept with during those six months.

"So I don't want to brag, but I can tell you right now, sex with me is going to be amazing." When Kurt made a face he continued. "Oh my God, please tell me you're not a virgin. Because I don't do relationships. I like to keep it casual."

Kurt didn't know what to say to that. It wasn't his place to judge other people's lifestyles but Daniel's wasn't for him. Because he didn't want to be rude, he stayed for another drink but when he tried to bid his goodbyes, Daniel got up as well.

"Great. I was about to suggest we get out of here. I have single this semester so we should head to my place."

Kurt's jaw dropped because why in the world did Daniel think Kurt was going home with him? But then he decided to have fun with it.

"I'd love to. But my doctor said I shouldn't have sex until everything down there has cleared up," he motioned to his crotch. "But hey, do you want to get dinner in about two weeks?"

Daniel left before Kurt could finish his sentence. Satisfied he ordered a slice of cheesecake and texted Rachel that she was fired as wing woman and didn't plan to go another date until he had spoken with Blaine.

* * *

For spring break he had to stay in New York because they were short staffed at the coffee shop and he needed the money, but his dad came up for a few days while Carole took care of Ethan and their newest foster kid. After his shift, he took his dad to a restaurant close to his dorm where he made sure his dad ordered something healthy and ended crying over his cheesecake when his dad asked how he was really doing in New York.

He didn't return to his room that night, but followed his dad to his hotel instead.

"Look kiddo," his dad said once Kurt had washed his face and was sitting on his dad's bed. "No one is forcing you to stay here. If you'd rather go back to Boston you'd have our full support and not just because it's cheaper."

"Really? You wouldn't be disappointed?" Kurt asked because somehow over the past two years his dad's approval had become important to him.

"We just want you to be happy and even when you tried to convince us otherwise we could tell you weren't. At least not like you were before."

Kurt called Berklee the day after his dad left New York and asked if he could transfer back next fall. He learned that while yes he could, he would have to reapply for financial aid and scholarships. Mercedes was ecstatic when he told her the news, but both she and Rachel implored him to tell Blaine so they could work on getting back together. But Kurt couldn't. He couldn't admit that he made a mistake; that he couldn't handle New York; that he was miserable there because he missed Blaine and the other students didn't like him. At least not yet. He decided that they'd have the conversation once his transfer was final and he was back in Lima for the summer.

He heard back from Berklee after he had already informed Julliard of his decision not to return in the fall, but unfortunately they weren't able to afford him the same scholarship he had before. The new one would still cover half of his tuition but that meant that he would have to use the insurance money once again, at least until he could reapply for financial aid the next semester.

Santana, Brittany and Rachel were sad to see him go, but they all understood that he had to do what made him happy. And they were all going back to Lima for at least a few weeks so Kurt was still going to see them during the summer and they made plans to visit Boston more often.

To avoid shipping his belonging back to Lima, he put what he didn't need into storage so he would just have to pick it up before he moved back to Boston. Once his last final was taking care of he set off toward the airport, his two suitcases and duffle bag in tow. He was alone this time because he had to leave New York early for Carole's graduation and as he watched New York disappear through the window he wondered what the future would bring and if he would ever make it back to what was once the city of his dreams.

Christmas 2038

"Well, obviously we did," he concludes his story and drops a kiss on his husband's cheek.

"It's surprising we turned out so well with parents like this. I hope we'll never be this stupid," his daughter remarks and high fives her brother and Kurt just rolls his eyes and lets it go, because he was her age once as well and thought nothing could ever rip him and Blaine apart.

Fortunately his nephew doesn't participate in tease the parents and listens with rapt attention, so Kurt doesn't mind when he asks a question.

"So you and uncle Blaine talked after grandma's graduation. Did you get back together then?"

Kurt shares a look with Blaine before his husband nods.

"The summer of 2013, uncle Kurt finally caved and told me everything about New York and I may have made some impulsive decisions."


	4. Our reunion

**AN: **Sorry for the delay. The internet in my apartment did not like me the past couple of days.

Things get a bit steamy during a few lines, but I don't think it warrants an M- ranting.

**Chapter 4: Our reunion**

Christmas 2038

"The summer of 2013, uncle Kurt finally caved and told me everything about New York and I may have made some impulsive decisions."

2013

They met for coffee the day after Carole's graduation and Blaine knew that the upcoming conversation would either save or finish their relationship. So it wasn't just the unreasonably hot May day that made him sweat on the way to the Lima Beam. His hair was longer than ever, curling like crazy thanks to the humidity he was dealing with in addition to the heat, but there hadn't been time for a hair cut. He had freed his face from the beard he'd been hiding behind the past few weeks however, because he knew Kurt's opinion on excessive amounts of facial hair.

Kurt's Navigator sat in the parking lot when he arrived and when he approached the front door he spotted Kurt sitting behind the wheel, his hands clutching it so hard that his knuckles had turned white. Blaine rapped on the window, causing the other boy to nearly jump out of his seat before he locked eyes with Blaine and relaxed.

Two minutes later, they stood in line, both fiddling with their sleeves and not looking at one another after another awkward greeting in the parking lot. When it was their turn Blaine stepped forward but Kurt beat him to it.

"Hi, can I get one medium drip and a double espresso. And two oatmeal cookies to go please," Kurt ordered while Blaine looked at him in surprise.

"You changed your coffee order," Blaine remarked for lack of anything more intelligent to say and Kurt hummed in agreement, before he bit his lip, apparently debating what he should tell Blaine.

"I got a job in a coffee shop and when you have to make those crazy kinds of coffees for other people all day, you learn to appreciated the simple things. And regular coffee is cheaper," he added, his eyes fixed on the cake display in front of them.

Blaine wished he knew whether Kurt really didn't like his favorite coffee anymore or just didn't want to admit that he couldn't afford it and it hurt that he didn't know those things about his best friend anymore.

"Well if you change your mind, the next one's on me," he settled on and Kurt's eyes briefly lit up.

While they were waiting for their coffee Kurt suggested heading to a small lake they had discovered the previous summer so they could have their talk away from the noisy crowd in the Lima Bean and Blaine whole heartedly agreed. They'd made some good memories by that lake, which they had stumbled upon by accident when they'd been looking for a place to park and make out.

He held the two coffees and cookies while Kurt unlocked his Navigator and climbed into the driver's seat and Blaine followed once Kurt had relieved him of the hot beverages. They drove in silence, a regional radio station playing in the back, and Blaine burned his tongue with the scalding hot coffee because he was too eager to occupy himself.

"You okay?" Kurt asked when Blaine hissed and Blaine nodded even though Kurt's eyes were trained on the road.

"My mom is really looking forward to working with Carole," Blaine said after another moment of silence to keep the conversation going. Kurt just hummed again.

They found the clearing in the woods leading to the small lake on their second try and Kurt put the Navigator into park underneath a large pine tree to keep it out of the sun. Fortunately no ones else was around and Blaine grabbed the blanket Kurt kept in the back of his car and spread it on the tiny pier while Kurt carried their purchases from the Lima Bean.

For a while they just stared out onto the water and sipped their coffees. Blaine was sweating underneath his thin t-shirt and he wondered if Kurt would object to him taking off his shirt or diving into the lake to cool down.

"You wanted to talk," he eventually broke the silence because he didn't have all day and wanted everything to be sorted out before he went back to Providence.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt suddenly blurted out and when he turned his head, Blaine saw a tear trickling down the other boy's face.

"I royally fucked up and then I was too proud to admit that I made the worst mistake."

"Santana told me you weren't happy in New York, but I didn't tell you I knew either," Blaine offered and while Kurt looked surprised he just nodded.

"I hated it. I hated not having you there. I hated Julliard because the students there were horrible. And I wasted half the remaining insurance money on something that made me unhappy," Kurt admitted and Blaine pulled him into his arms when he realized Kurt was shaking, tears flowing freely by now.

"And the worst part is that I ruined everything between us. I threw it all away because I couldn't accept that growing up means that plans can change. I'm pretty sure you're my soulmate and I ruined my chance at happily ever after," Kurt sobbed into his shirt, turning it damp where Kurt's face was pressed against it.

Christmas 2038

"Soulmates, dad? Seriously. What were you, like twelve?" Ella interrupts, rolling her eyes, but Kurt shushes her.

"Wait till you fall in love, honey."

"I am in love," Ella huffs and he and Kurt share a look, because their daughter has known 'the boyfriend' three months and she was way to young to be in love.

"Anyway, your dad was breaking down in front of me and I knew I had to make him stop hurting," Blaine continues, after making sure Ella didn't see the look they shared.

2013

"You didn't ruin everything, Kurt," Blaine assured him when the boy, no, young man in his arm continued shaking, and his exclamation startled Kurt enough to pull back. Red-rimmed eyes met Blaine's and he gave Kurt his most reassuring smile.

"I love you Kurt and I never stopped loving you even when I was angry. And if you are willing to make us work, so am I."

He didn't know what propelled him to say what he said next but he didn't regret his impulsive and out of the blue decision one bit.

"Move in with me. When you head back to school in the fall."

Kurt froze before he tackled Blaine. The force of it made him lose his balance and his hand gripped Kurt's t-shirt. It didn't stop him from toppling over and pulling Kurt into to the lake with him.

When he broke the surface after swallowing some water, Kurt was already treading water, looking like a drowned rat.

"You are lucky I love you and my phone's in my bag," Kurt glared at him before he pushed Blaine under again. Blaine didn't mind at all – after making sure his phone wasn't in his pocket either.

Fortunately, the lake wasn't deep where they had fallen in and as soon as he could feel the ground beneath his feet, he pulled Kurt closer and smashed their lips together. Blaine licked into Kurt's mouth before sucking on his tongue until he had to pull away to take a breath.

They struggled to get out of their drenched t-shirts and threw them onto the pier before they came together again, hands roaming over the other's body, reacquainting themselves after months spent apart.

Kurt's shoulders were broader and as his eyes travelled downward, they stopped on Kurt's chest.

"Is that a tattoo?" Blaine asked incredulously, before he squinted to read the inscription above Kurt's heart.

"Elizabeth," he read out loud before he met Kurt's eyes.

"Santana got one and I was drunk enough to be convinced to get one as well," Kurt explained and wrapped his arms around himself self-consciously.

"Don't hide. I think it's very sweet," Blaine assured him, after getting over the shock that Kurt had his mother's name tattooed on his chest. "At least you didn't get something ridiculous or a tramp stamp."

Kurt let his arms fall to his side and Blaine softly kissed the tattoo before he focused his attention on his boyfriend's nipples, already erect from the still cold lake. Kurt moaned and Blaine looked around to make sure they were still alone.

They made out in the water until he started to shiver and Kurt's lips turned blue. Back on land they tried themselves as best as they could with the blanket before Kurt took his hand and lead him to his car. They climbed into the back wordlessly after discarding their wet pants as well and Kurt got rid of their underwear before they even touched the backseat.

Contrary to what their friends and possibly parents thought, they never had sex in the car before, always too afraid to be discovered, but Blaine was very willing to take a chance right now. Kurt didn't protest when Blaine pulled him on top of him either and before long they were grinding against each other as best as they could in the cramped space.

Neither of them had brought any supplies because the plan was for them to just talk, so Blaine licked his hand and wrapped it around Kurt's erection, eliciting another loud moan from his boyfriend.

Christmas 2038

Kurt smacks his husband hard.

"Have you lost your mind?" he hisses and pointedly looks at his children who only look mildly amused while his nephew fidgets in his seat.

To his surprise Ella and Alex burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" his nephew asks, still not looking at either him or Blaine and Kurt wonders the same thing.

"Dad and Papa only learned how to lock their bedroom door after Alex and I walked in on them … twice," Ella explains, a slight blush staining her cheeks though she tries to act like it's nothing.

Kurt has nearly forgotten about the incidents because they happened years ago, when their kids were still young enough that they believed it when Blaine explained that they were cuddling naked because he spilled hot cocoa on both of them.

Next to him Blaine is blushing, and Carole who joined them again during the last part of the story sniggers. Kurt rolls his eyes.

"What Papa meant to say is that we sat in the sun while we waited for our clothes to dry and had a mature discussion about our future," he insists though he knows he is fooling no one.

"That's what they told Grandpa when he asked why their stuff was wet," Carole interrupts and Kurt glares at her because he doesn't want his daughter to think that having sex in the back of a car is okay. It's probably good that they barely take their car out of the garage in New York.

"Moving on. After we got back to Grandma and Grandpa's, we started making plans for the fall, because your dad still had to catch a flight the next day while I was staying in Lima for the summer."

2013

Back at his house they snuck upstairs and quickly shed their soiled clothes before tumbling into the bathroom together for a nice hot shower. Because Blaine hadn't brought any other clothes, Kurt found him an old Dalton P.E t-shirt and jeans cut-offs he'd deny owning if someone asked. Showered and dressed, Blaine sat down on his bed, while Kurt went downstairs for his laptop.

"Why was your stuff all wet?" his dad suddenly asked from his place in front of the TV and Kurt shrieked because he hadn't seen him before and assumed they were home alone.

"We fell into a lake," he mumbled and his dad frowned.

"Do I want to know?" Kurt shook his head and his dad focused his attention back on the baseball game he was watching.

The windows were open to let fresh air in and out back he could hear Ethan laughing with his friends, while Carole and Unique's voices drifted in from the kitchen. He didn't know if any of them knew that Blaine was here, but he couldn't wait to tell his family that they were _KurtandBlaine_ again.

His laptop was where he had left it the previous night and he hightailed it out of the living room as soon as it was securely in his grasp and before he dad could change his mind and ask questions after all.

In his bedroom, Blaine was sprawled out on top of the sheets, his fingers tapping out the rhythm of a song only he could hear. Kurt shoved his right leg out of the way and sat down next to him.

"All right. I guess the first thing we need to figure out is where we are going to live. Because we will still be going to different schools," Kurt started them off, when Blaine just kept gazing at him, his eyes full of love.

After consulting Google Maps they discover Norwood, Massachusetts a small town off I-95 about half way between Brown and Berklee and more importantly a few train stops away from Boston.

"It probably makes more sense to keep the Navigator and sell my car," Blaine offered, following Kurt's line of thoughts. They both knew that moving in together meant that they couldn't afford two cars anymore, not even when his dad was a mechanic.

"Though it does seem unfair to ask you to move in with me and then tell you you have to take the train to school," his boyfriend continued but Kurt shook his head.

"You don't even want to know how long it took me sometimes to get from my dorm to Rachel's apartment in Brooklyn. I honestly don't mind taking the train and it's not like it's even a possibility for you."

"I'm going to get a job. Maybe if I make enough we can keep both cars," Blaine suggested, apparently feeling really bad about asking Kurt to take the train to school. Not that it mattered to him. If it meant he could actually live with Blaine, he would walk to Boston and back every day if that was the only way to make it happen.

"We'll both need jobs, Blaine," Kurt reminded his boyfriend. "I know your trust won't cover housing anymore when you move out of the dorms and I need to use the rest of the insurance money for tuition until I get my scholarships back."

Blaine nodded and Kurt found the homepage of a realtor in Norwood. Ideally they would find an apartment close to the railway station and Kurt jotted down the number of the realtor. They looked at a few apartments to get an idea about price range and size before Kurt called the realtor to check if he knew about any apartments they could afford.

2038

"Wait. I think I know the apartment. Isn't it the one in the picture in the music room?" Alex asks. Blaine nods.

"Yep. Our first apartment together. We lived there for three years before moving to New York after graduation."

"And grandma and grandma just let you?" Ella demands to know and Blaine nods again.

"So I can move in with my boyfriend after I graduate high school as well?"

Kurt nearly chokes on the cookie he just took a bite of but after sharing a look with Blaine he nods reluctantly.

"I'd be hoping that you were dating that person for a while already, but we won't stop you from making your own decisions once you're eighteen," he promises his daughter before returning to the story.

2013

"You're what?" his dad asked when they came back downstairs to share the good news.

Blaine had called his mom and asked her to come over as well and so his whole family was already in the living room when they made their announcement.

"We're moving in together," Kurt repeated enthusiastically. "I just spoke to a realtor and he's going to show Blaine a few apartments next week. Once he's narrowed them down to two, I'll drive up and help him choose."

It was a good plan and Kurt was prepared to defend his decision but to his surprise the adults just smiled at them.

"If this is going to make you both happy then we are happy for you," Carole pulled him into a hug, passing him off to his dad when she was done with him. Next to him Tala did the same with Blaine.

"So where are you going to live?" his dad asked once they were done hugging and he and Blaine quickly filled his dad in.

"Seems like you thought of everything. And if you want to leave early, I'd understand," his dad offered but Kurt shook his head.

"I promised I'd help out in the shop over the summer and I want to be involved with remodelling the restaurant."

"I guess I should be honored that he's letting me pick our future apartment," Blaine teased and Kurt lightly smacked his shoulder.

"I know you won't let me down."

They kissed right in front of everyone because they had to make up for lost time and how could he abstain when Blaine was looking at him like this.

Christmas 2038

Kurt leans in and presses his lips softly against Blaine's because even though they are in their mid forties now, he can still never stop himself from kissing his husband when he looks at him with hearts in his eyes.

"I can't believe you ran the restaurant with only Nana in the beginning," his daughter turns to Carole who shrugs in a what can you do sort of way.

"Well, we had a lot of help but we still barely fixed it up in time for the opening."


	5. South-East Fusion

**Chapter 5: South-East Fusion**

Christmas 2038

"Well, we had a lot of help but we still barely fixed it up in time for the opening."

October 2013

Kurt was flitting around nervously, checking again that all the tables were set like he had ordered and weren't missing any cutlery. He'd spent his summer alternately working in the garage and repainting the restaurant when he didn't visit Blaine in Norwood to furnish and decorate their new apartment.

The one they ended up choosing was a one bedroom a five minutes walk away from the train station for a quarter of what he would have paid in New York. Even apartments in Boston went for nearly twice as much, convincing Kurt that moving to Norwood was a great idea, even though they didn't know anyone there and their friends were living in other cities.

To save money, Kurt had rented a truck and loaded the remaining furniture from his old basement bedroom into it with the help of Finn who was working in the shop as well during his own summer break. Even if money weren't an issue he would have wanted to take his bed with him because of the memories they created in it. It was only fitting that the bed they made love in for the first time, would be their shared bed in their first apartment.

Finn accompanied him because he had gotten into a fight with Sarah and needed to clear his head and Kurt was happy to have company during the drive.

Blaine was waiting for them in front of the apartment and pulled Kurt into a hug the moment he stepped out of the car. Together they unloaded the truck, adding to the stack of boxes already cluttering the floor, before he and Blaine drove to IKEA while Finn put together the furniture they had to take apart for transport.

Because they both liked cooking and baking they splurged on quality kitchen utensils before picking up an assortment of knick-knacks to add to the decorations brought from home and found at flea markets.

Two days later, the had a grey couch seating three on top of a beautiful blue carpet surrounded by a chocolate brown book shelf, coffee table, dining room table and matching chairs for four people.

All of his old furniture had gone into their bedroom and it now looked pretty much exactly like his basement bedroom had. Kurt loved it and they christened the new bedroom the moment Finn left to spend a few days exploring the east coast.

Back in Lima, he, Carole and Tala repainted the restaurant while Ethan painted the sign after the young boy had proven to be quite talented with a paintbrush. They sold the old furniture and replaced it with new tables and chairs. With the loan money, they updated the kitchen, installing a second dishwasher and buying a better freezer. Tala made new curtains and his dad built a new bar.

By September, Carole had found a waitress who had no problem working the hours they were open and a young college student who would work the weekend shifts. To avoid hiring even more people before they could afford it, Carole and Tala decided to only open the restaurant from 10 AM to 4 PM each day, providing a cheap lunch special for workers from the surrounding office buildings in addition to specialties from the South and the Philippines.

Everything went really well for a while until Carole tried to renew her liquor license. She quickly discovered the horrors of bureaucracy and when two weeks before the opening she still hadn't received it, she asked his dad to intervene.

Fortunately, the hold up was a city council member who had recently opened a bar on the same street as the restaurant was on and was hoping to get rid of the competition by not granting Carole her liquor license.

The grand opening was planned for Labor Day weekend and he, Blaine and Mercedes drove back to Lima after their classes let out. Most of their Glee club friends had promised to come to the opening with their families and after the local newspaper wrote an article about 'South-East Fusion' they soon had enough reservations to fill all the tables.

Two days before the opening, Kurt and Blaine hung black and white pictures on the wall, representing the two cultures coming together in Carole's restaurant, while Carole and Tala cleaned the place from top to bottom. They let his dad handle the liquor delivery and instructed Finn to do all the heavy lifting.

That Sunday morning, Tala came over early and Kurt cooed over the uniforms he had picked for them to wear when they weren't in the kitchen. They drove to the restaurant together, two hours before they expected their first guests to arrive.

He and Blaine were driving with Ethan and a newly single Finn, while his dad, Carole and Tala drove Carole's new charge Kitty. Kurt hadn't had much time to talk to the sixteen year old yet, but from the way she was lashing out at everyone he could tell she was angry.

Carole had told him the basics about her because the case had been all over the local news anyway. The young girl had been raped at a party and when she had told her parents about it, she had been told that she'd been asking for it, dressing the way she did, and had been asked to pack her bags the next day. It was cases like that that made him so happy that his parents had decided to become foster parents, because kids like Kitty needed loving parents like his dad and Carole.

At the restaurant, Tala and Carole disappeared into the kitchen while Jane and Lexa, the waitresses, changed into their uniforms. Kurt, Blaine and Finn had set the tables the day before and Kurt checked everything over once more, when the door opened and Rachel and her dads walked in together with Jesse and Ms. Corcoran, who was carrying her three year old Beth.

Kurt had seated Quinn and Puck next to Ms. Corcoran because he knew they both missed seeing their biological daughter from time to time now that they both were in college and the teacher had taken another job.

The restaurant filled slowly over the past half hour, but by the time Jane and Lexa started serving the appetizers all chairs were occupied. Kurt smiled when he saw the proud smile on his dad's face and nearly moaned when he took his first bite. He hadn't realized till now how much he actually missed Carole's cooking and judging by Blaine's reaction he missed his mom's as well.

Between the main courses and dessert Kurt saw a reporter from the Lima Daily News disappear into the kitchen and he gave Carole thumbs up when he reappeared with a smile, followed by his beaming stepmother.

After dessert, the grown ups started to leave, but he and Blaine pushed a few tables together – after helping Jane and Lexa clean up – and called their former glee club over. There were a few new faces – invited by the kids who had joined the previous year – and it didn't take long before Rachel suggested they all sing together.

They kept their reunion going – borrowing a bottle of wine from Carole early on – until it was dark outside and only Santana, Brittany, Quinn, Mercedes and Rachel were left.

"Don't you miss New York at all?" Rachel asked him, already slightly tipsy.

Kurt considered the question for a moment, his eyes locking with Blaine's.

"There are some things I miss, like Broadway and restaurants being open past midnight. But I'm so much happier now than I was last semester, so no, I guess I don't miss it," he replied truthfully, earning him a kiss from Blaine.

"One day I want to move there with you," Blaine whispered into his ear and Kurt smiled. He wasn't in a hurry to get to some day though.

**AN: **The next chapter tells Finn's story.


	6. Uncle Finn

**AN: **As a reminder, this chapter tells the story of Finn's death in 2018. Skip it if you don't want to read about his death. The next one is sad as well, but then we return to the happier memories.

**Uncle Finn's Story**

Christmas 2038

The lights have come back on while he was telling the last story and everyone but his own little family has left the living room as soon as they could see again, most having heard that particular story before or were part of it.

After Blaine refilled their mugs – hot chocolate for the kids and hot chocolate with a splash of rum for him and Blaine – Ella speaks up again.

"Dads," she addresses them. "I know you don't like talking about it, but will you tell us what happened to uncle Finn? I know he died before we were born and you always said you'd tell us when we are older."

Kurt shares a look with Blaine. His brother has been dead for twenty years now, but it's still difficult to talk about the summer of 2018. Mainly because he and Blaine have blamed themselves and each other for what happened when Finn came to stay with them in New York that summer for so long afterward. Only countless hours of therapy had helped them come to terms with it and that the events that transpired hadn't been their fault.

But as much as it pains him to talk about Finn, it probably isn't such as bad idea to tell his teenaged children the truth about what happened.

"Alright," he concedes with a sigh. "I'll tell you. The summer of 2018 I was twenty-five and your dad and uncle Finn twenty-four. We were engaged at the time and planned to get married as soon as we could afford it."

"Wait," Alex interjects. "I thought you proposed to Papa in 2021." Kurt nods.

"That's when we got engaged for the second time, but I'll get to that. Your dad and I were engaged and so was your uncle Finn. But while we hadn't set a date yet, uncle Finn's wedding was only weeks away."

"He was married?" Alex interrupts again and Kurt shakes his head.

"Uncle Finn met his fiancée Carley when he went to U Dayton for a teaching degree. After graduation he taught P.E and coached the football team at our old high school here in Lima. Two years later, he and Carley got engaged and they seemed really happy until he caught her cheating on him with her ex-boyfriend a month before the wedding."

Late June 2018

"Why would she do that to me?" Finn sobbed into his whiskey glass.

It wasn't his first that night and Kurt sighed, knowing he and Blaine would have to haul Finn's drunken ass back home again.

They had flown back to Lima after Finn called them with the bad news and for the past few days had tried to cheer him up. They had badmouthed his ex, told him he was too good for her anyway and had driven him back to their parents' house after he drowned his sorrows in whiskey.

But Finn was inconsolable. Carley was his first proper girlfriend after he and Sarah broke up his sophomore year of college and he thought she was his soul mate as he told them whenever they voiced their concerns that Carley might not be one hundred per cent over her ex-boyfriend.

Because he and Blaine were still struggling to make ends meet and pay the bills each month, they couldn't stay in Lima forever to take care of Finn, unfortunately. But Kurt had a brilliant idea. He thought Finn needed a change of scenery and because his brother was on summer break, he invited him to come stay with them in New York until school started again.

They lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment on 129th street, but had inherited a large couch from the previous tenant. It barely fit into their living room, but even fit Finn's large frame as previous visits had proven.

Anxious to get away from his own apartment, where everything reminded him of Carley, Finn agreed and Burt drove the three of them, plus some of Finn's belongings back to New York, because he knew they couldn't afford another plane ticket.

During the day, they had to leave Finn behind once they were back home because they both waited tables when they weren't auditioning – in Kurt's case rather unsuccessfully. Blaine also played piano in a small bar in Harlem four nights a week, where his brother – within the first two weeks of staying with them – became a regular, staying till closing time, so Blaine had to call Kurt to help him get Finn home a lot.

They weren't too worried about his brother's behavior at first because they both had at points in their lives drowned their own sorrows in alcohol. When a month into staying with them, Finn still came home drunk most nights, usually waking them up because he tripped over something in their tiny living room or thinking 3 am was the appropriate time to watch TV with the volume up, he and Blaine both agreed that Finn needed something to occupy his time with so he didn't end up in a bar every night.

"You know that girl that moved into 3D a few months ago? Karen? I think she is our age and she told me once that she works nights. Maybe she could keep Finn company during the day," Blaine suggested as they walked to their favorite coffee shop for their once a week treat, eyes bleary from lack of sleep.

Kurt hummed noncommittally but didn't come up with a better idea. Neither of them could afford staying home with his brother and because they both had to get up early every day, they couldn't stay out all night with Finn to keep an eye on how much he was drinking either.

"I'm gonna swing by her place after work, see if she's interested in meeting him," Blaine added and Kurt nodded because what could go wrong.

* * *

Finn and Karen hit it off right from the start and at nights she had to work he suddenly stayed home with them instead of going out on his own. When the two of them went out together he still came home drunk but at least now he and Blaine didn't have to worry about him getting lost or into trouble on his way home.

They got more sleep knowing he wasn't out there on his own until Finn came home and his clothes reeked of pot. In college, he and Blaine had tried it once and had immediately decided that smoking of any kind wasn't their thing and harmful to their voices. Their clothes had smelled of smoke, sure, but not as bad as Finn's so he suspected that Finn had been exposed to quite a lot of it.

Again they didn't say anything at first because, well, they had experimented as well. But when by early August, drunk Finn had mostly been replaced by stoned Finn, Kurt decided it was time for an intervention.

His brother didn't take it well, but that was to be expected.

"You're not my mom, dude and I'm old enough to make my own decisions," he snapped when Kurt told him he was worried about him.

He and Blaine weren't just concerned for Finn's health. His brother was a teacher and if he got arrested for smoking pot, he would probably get fired. In their own chosen professions no one would care about something like that unless it impacted their work performance, but with Finn it was different.

"Where are you getting this stuff anyway?" Blaine wondered because he and Kurt had been living in New York for two years now and they had no clue where someone went to score drugs, even pseudo legal ones like marihuana.

"Oh, Karen knows this guy whose uncle out in Cali gets medical marihuana and doesn't mind sharing with his nephew who suffers from 'horrible migraines'," Finn explained, uncrossing his arms only for the quotation marks.

Kurt glared at Blaine because he was the one who knew Karen and had introduced her to Finn.

"You have to stop doing this. At least not this much," Kurt told him. "School starts again soon and you are a mess. I've we had kids I wouldn't want you around them right now, to be honest."

Apparently this was the wrong thing to say, because Finn stormed out and slammed the door shut behind him.

"You know, I thought this was just his way of dealing with the break up, but I'm starting to think your brother may be depressed. I've never seen him like this before – so self-destructive – and I think he probably should to talk to someone," Blaine observed and Kurt whole-heartedly agreed.

They approached the subject the next morning after Finn had sobered up.

"I'm just having fun. Isn't that why you asked me to come stay here? So I could relax and forget all about Carley? So now that I do, you suddenly don't like it. We're in our mid-twenties not mid-sixties. Live a little," was Finn's response, ignoring their efforts to get him to open up.

Because they didn't know that else to do, Kurt finally called Carole and told her about Finn's drinking and the drugs. That night, when Finn returned from Karen's place, he was angrier than Kurt had ever seen him before.

He had never worried about Finn actually hitting him – not even in the beginning – but that night, he was afraid of his brother.

* * *

When Finn returned two days later, Kurt handed him a train ticket.

"I really don't want to do this," Kurt told his brother, his eyes pleading with him to understand that going back home early was for his own good.

The ticket was for the following day, the early morning train to Columbus and Kurt hoped that Finn would just accept it and go home to their parents.

He was hopeful that being away from Karen would make him stop drinking before the new school year started.

Finn just shoved the ticket into his back pocket.

"Fuck you, Kurt. I thought we were brothers, but clearly the only person who cares about me in this fucking city doesn't live in this apartment. I'm gonna go check out this new club with Karen. Don't wait up. I'll be out of your hair in the morning," Finn snarled.

Kurt felt bad after Finn's outburst but he was also relieved that he hadn't put up a fight and would be heading back to Lima the next morning.

The train to Columbus left early – at six am - so Finn had to come back during the night for his bag if he wanted to catch it. When Blaine woke him around two am Kurt was pissed at first because he was seriously sleep deprived by now.

"Finn's bag is still in the living room. Maybe we should call and remind him he has to get it soon," Blaine whispered, his hair in disarray, and pillow marks on his cheek.

Even though he had bags under his eyes as well, Kurt found him incredibly hot in that moment but that probably was because they'd barely been intimate since Finn came to New York. He ignored the horny part of his brain and dialed Finn's number. Once his brother was back home, he could revisit those thoughts.

The call went straight to voice mail and Kurt left a short message reminding Finn about the train's departure time. Half an hour later they still hadn't heard from him, so Kurt texted Karen. He was grateful now, that Blaine had stolen her number of Finn's phone after their failed intervention.

"Still at the club but heading home soon. Don't worry I'll get him on that train," she texted back a few minutes later and after agreeing that there wasn't anything they could do at the moment they went back to bed.

* * *

The sun was up high when Kurt woke up the next morning and for a moment he was confused because he actually felt well rested. Luckily, it was his and Blaine's day off from work and he had no audition scheduled either. His fiancé was still snoring lightly next to him and when he checked the clock he saw that it was almost ten already.

Rubbing his eyes, he padded into the living room where he promptly tripped over Finn's bag. He cursed loudly and picked up his phone. The night before, he'd left it on the coffee table, which explained why he hadn't heard his alarm go off.

Ready to give Finn a piece of his mind, Kurt unlocked the screen and frowned. He had tens missed calls and even more unread text messages from Karen. Confused he opened the newest one.

"Please call me, Kurt! It's urgent!"

He quickly scanned through the other texts but they all basically said the same. Kurt sighed and dialed her number.

"If this is about Finn missing his train I already know," he told her after she picked up after the first ring.

Instead of an answer he was met with the sound of crying. Kurt's heart sank as his mind ran through all kinds of horror scenarios.

"Karen, you're scaring me. Where are you?" he demanded while he prayed that it wasn't a police station.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. I didn't know. I promise, I didn't. Oh my god," the girl sobbed.

Kurt's grip on his phone tightened.

"Where are you?" he repeated and his voice shook. The conversation reminded him too much of his dad's heart attack six years ago.

Suddenly, a male voice addressed him.

"Mr. Hummel? This is Doctor Turner from New York Presbyterian in Lower Manhattan. Can I ask what your relation to Finn Hudson is?"

"He's my stepbrother," Kurt forced out, willing Blaine to wake up. "What's going on? Did he get hurt?"

"I regret to inform you that Mr. Hudson passed away early this morning. If you could come to the hospital for proper identification I will answer all questions you might have. I wish I didn't have to ask you for this, but unfortunately he wasn't carrying an ID when he was picked up by the ambulance so we need a family member to identify him."

The phone crashed to the floor, the noise echoing in the otherwise silent apartment. By the time strong arms pulled him against Blaine's chest, tears were streaming down his face and he was shaking uncontrollably.

"Kurt?"

He felt like he was underwater, Blaine's voice sounding distant though his boyfriend was right next to him.

"Finn's dead," he whispered, hoping that any second he'd wake from this nightmare.

After his mother's accident he never wanted to get a call like this again, but here he was, eight years older but no less shaken up.

Blaine's grip loosened and when Kurt raised his head, Blaine was staring back at him, his mouth wide open in shock.

"Wha-, what happened?" he croaked. Kurt shrugged helplessly.

"I don't know. They want me to come to the hospital and ID him because he didn't have his wallet on him. All I know is that Karen tried to reach me for the past five hours."

It surprised him that he hadn't lost his ability to speak yet.

"I can do it, Kurt. You don't have to see him," Blaine offered, as pale as Kurt usually was.

Kurt shook his head.

"It has to be family and we aren't married yet," he whispered before he pushed away from Blaine and ran into their bedroom.

He put on the first pair of pants in sight and threw another pair at Blaine before he rushed back into the living room to collect his wallet, keys and phone.

When Blaine caught up with him, he was already trying to hail a cab they couldn't really afford after paying for Finn's train ticket.

Neither of them said a word as the taxi slowly made its way through Manhattan and Kurt was grateful that the cab driver ignored the two openly crying passengers in the backseat.

Shortly before they reached the hospital, Blaine brought up the one thing, he absolutely didn't want to think about right now.

"We're gonna have to call your parents."

It made the tears come even faster, especially when he thought about Ethan. The fifteen year old worshipped the ground his coach and brother walked on.

His youngest sibling had gone through so much shit already in his young life and Kurt was about to add another thing.

"I need to see the doctor first. I can't call them until I know what happened," he sobbed.

The cab driver gave them a sympathetic smile when they paid for the ride and together they stumbled through the front door of the emergency room.

In a corner he spotted Karen talking to a police officer and snapped. He ran up to her and shoved her as hard as he could.

"What the fuck did you do?" he yelled as he took in her tear-streaked face. "You promised you'd get him on the train."

Blaine's arms wrapped around him from behind and Kurt collapsed into his fiancé's arms.

"Mr. Hummel, I presume?" the police officer asked and Kurt nodded, hoarse from all the crying and yelling at Karen.

"I just finished questioning Ms. Adler so I can tell you what we know so far."

Kurt nodded, because he needed answers. The officer opened his notebook and flipped back a few pages.

"Your brother and Ms. Adler entered a dance club in the Meat Packing Distract around eleven pm. They'd been drinking before they got there and continued to do so for another hour. Ms. Adler stated that Mr. Hudson asked her for marihuana and when she refused because he had an early train to catch, he got angry and told her he would find some on his own.

When he returned half an hour later, he was hyperactive and dragged Ms. Adler onto the dance floor where he stayed for about an hour. When she asked him if he had taken anything, he refused to answer. Ms. Adler tried to get him to go home but Mr. Hudson resisted and she lost sight of him again.

She found him again shortly before you contacted her and he seemed to have calmed down and agreed to leave after a few more songs. An hour later, they were still at the club and Mr. Hudson complained about not feeling well. Ms. Adler went outside to hail a cab and when she returned to fetch him, your brother had collapsed on the dance floor and another guest had already called an ambulance," the police officer read from the notebook as Kurt trembled in Blaine's arms.

Before he could ask what happened next, a middle-aged man in a white coat approached them. He wore the kind of expression all doctors seem to have in common when they have to deliver bad news.

"I'm Doctor Turner," he introduced himself before he addressed the police officer. "If you are done here, I'd like to talk to Mr. Hummel and …," he trailed off and looked at Blaine, who was still holding Kurt in his arms.

"Blaine Anderson. I'm Kurt's fiancé," Blaine mumbled and the doctor nodded.

"We're done," the officer stated before he led Karen away.

"What, what was it?" Kurt croaked once they were alone.

"We can't say yet; not before we have the toxicology report, but from the way Ms. Adler described your brother's behavior I suspect Ecstasy or something like it. Most people are fine if they take it as long as they stay hydrated, but with your brother drinking and overexerting himself, it seems like his body couldn't handle whatever drug he ingested.

The EMTs arriving on the scene managed to revive him briefly on the way to the hospital, but by the time they arrived here, the attending physicians, including myself, couldn't do anything for him anymore. We tried to revive him for half an hour, unfortunately unsuccessfully.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss, but hospital policy demands that either you or another family member identifies him. We tried to reach his emergency contact – a Ms. Carley Benson – but the number is no longer in service."

Kurt heard the words, but he couldn't believe they were true. Why would Finn do something so incredibly stupid? And why had they let him leave the night before. They should have made sure he got on the train, locked him up in the apartment if necessary.

The list of crazy ideas got longer as he numbly followed the doctor to an elevator leading to the morgue. His grip on Blaine's hand was so tight, he was certain he was cutting off his circulation, but his fiancé didn't complain. Fortunately, the doctor had allowed Blaine to come along, because he didn't know if he could handle this on his own.

His knees shook as they stepped into a room filled with metal tables. It smelled of cleaning supplies and when he spotted the instruments next to some of the tables his stomach lurched.

They came to a halt in front of the last table. A white sheet covered the body underneath and Kurt felt like throwing up. Because once he saw the person underneath, it would all become irrefutably true. Afterward, there would be no more denying this really happened and he knew he would never be ready for that, no matter how much time the doctor gave him.

Knowing that delaying the inevitable wouldn't change anything, that Karen hadn't made a mistake and Finn was sitting on the train back to Ohio after all, he squared his shoulders and nodded once. His short nails dug into Blaine's hands as the doctor lifted the sheet and Kurt steeled himself for what he would see.

In the end, the horrible thing was that Finn looked like he was just sleeping. Like he could jump up any second and tell him this was nothing more than an awful prank. Only the stiffness of his features caused by the onset of rigor mortis convinced him of the truth.

That the last thing Finn had told him was that he was a shitty brother. That Finn might not be dead if Kurt hadn't backed him into a corner with his intervention and constant nagging. If Blaine had never introduced him to Karen. If Karen had never moved into their building in the first place. If Finn hadn't met Carley. If his mother hadn't died and Finn had never become his true brother.

He was still caught in 'what if land' when the doctor's voice startled him.

"Mr. Hummel?"

"Yes, that's him," he forced out, assuming this had been the question.

The doctor moved the sheet back over Finn's head and offered them a few minutes to say their goodbyes, but Kurt had to get out of there. He felt the walls closing in and bile rise in his throat. After ripping his hand out of Blaine's grip, he rushed to the trash can by the door and started dry heaving over it.

His knuckles tightened around the edge of the bin while his body tried to empty his stomach. Once he stopped, he let Blaine pull him to his feet and lead him out of the morgue back to the elevators.

"You know the hospital can call your parents. You don't need to this alone," Blaine told him as the elevator carried them back to the ground floor. Kurt shook his head.

"They should hear it from me."

When his mother had died, he hadn't been able to make calls. As soon as the hospital had realized that he was underage and had no family in the area, they had called social services who had contacted his dad and everyone else Kurt could think of.

But he wasn't a scared seventeen year old any more and Finn had been his responsibility this summer. It was his fault this had happened, so he was the one who had to confess what he had done.

Blaine led him to an empty bench next to the outdoor smoking area, where Kurt took out his phone with shaking fingers. He fumbled with the buttons and nearly dropped it before Blaine put his hands on top of his to steady it.

"You don't have to," Blaine repeated but Kurt knew it had to be him.

His dad picked up after two rings and his cheerful greeting made Kurt gag again.

"What's up, kiddo? Finn on the train already?" he asked before he added. "Carole tried to call him but his phone is off."

"Dad," Kurt sobbed and he could hear his dad's breath hitch.

"Where are you Kurt?"

"At the hospital. I, I, I…" he stuttered.

"Kurt, are you okay? Did something happen to you or Blaine? Did someone hurt you?" his dad asked, worry evident in his tone.

"It's Finn," he managed to force out.

"Finn?" His dad sounded confused. "I thought you put him on the train this morning."

"I, no, we, ah…" He couldn't say it and so he didn't fight Blaine when he took his phone.

"Burt, it's Blaine. I don't know how to tell you this, but Finn, he, he took something last night and we don't know what happened exactly but the doctors, they couldn't help him anymore," his fiancé recounted in a broken voice.

Kurt took the phone back and was met with silence.

"Da- Dad?"

"Is he telling the truth, Kurt?" His dad sounded angry all of a sudden, but Kurt barely flinched. He deserved his dad's anger.

"Yes," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"Where the hell where you when this happened? You said you were keeping him safe," his father yelled and Kurt wanted to tell him to think of his heart.

He could hear Carole's voice in the background, asking what was going on and Kurt cried harder.

"I didn't know, Dad. He was angry we were sending him home, but he said he'd get on the train after going out to a club. How was I supposed to know?"

When his dad spoke up again, he sounded as if he had aged twenty years in the past few minutes.

"I'm sorry, kiddo. I don't know what just happened. I need to tell Carole. I'll call you when we get to New York. Text me which hospital."

Christmas 2038

"I don't know what your grandpa told grandma and I never asked, but they arrived in New York six hours later and sent us home. Your grandma took care of everything, arranged the funeral, informed all of our friends and Finn's from college. I don't know how she did it all while the rest of us was falling apart."

"I couldn't afford to break down at the time. You and Blaine barely slept or ate while we stayed with you, Ethan refused to leave his room, Casey, the girl staying with us at the time disappeared for a week because she didn't want to bother us and Carley showed up unexpectedly because she felt guilty for what happened."

Kurt looks up when he sees Carole standing in the doorway. He doesn't know how long she's been standing there, but judging by the unshed tears glistening in her eyes, he assumes she's been here for a while.

Ella and Alex are cuddled up to his husband, looking shell-shocked and Kurt wonders briefly, if telling them the awful truth wasn't a mistake after all.

"That's so sad," Ella finally says and Kurt just nods.

Finn's death had nearly destroyed his and Blaine's relationship and it had taken them a long time to come to terms with the fact that they couldn't have known and that it wasn't their fault.

"So, was it because of uncle Finn that you didn't get married?" Alex asks after a moment of silence.

"Are you sure you want to hear this right now?" Blaine asks their kids. "This really isn't a nice story and things got really bad for a while afterward."

Ella and Alex share a look before they nod. Kurt looks at Carole and she sits down in his dad's armchair.

"I never really knew what happened before you finally came to us for help," she says and Kurt takes a deep breath.

"We didn't think things could get worse but when we started to turn on each other, everything fell apart…"


	7. Aftermath

**Aftermath**

Christmas 2038

"We didn't think things could get worse but when we started to turn on each other, everything fell apart…"

2018

His dad and Carole stayed with them while his stepmother took care of everything. She forced him and Blaine to eat and refused to stay in a hotel to make sure he and Blaine wouldn't do something stupid. All they were allowed to do was give up their bed for his dad and Carole and sleep on the living room floor. They tried sleeping on the couch the first night, but knowing that it had been Finn's for the past few weeks they couldn't stay on it.

Instead of leaning on Blaine, he leaned on his parents. He just couldn't look at his fiancé without remembering that it had been Blaine who had introduced Karen to Finn.

They flew back to Lima together three days later for the funeral and while Blaine stayed with him, it didn't make him feel like sharing a bed usually did. Instead he tried his best to get Ethan out of his room and answered his friends texts, doing whatever he could so he didn't have to think about the reason why he was back in his parents' house.

It was Blaine who helped his dad pick up the rest of Finn's belongings from his apartment while Kurt tried not to fall apart. It just made him feel resentful. Resentful because Blaine seemed to be doing so much better than he was; resentful because even if he didn't say it out loud, he blamed Blaine for Karen.

Even though Finn hadn't lived at home for years now, the door to his room stayed close the days leading up to the funeral, but Kurt thought he heard Carole cry in there when he got up at night because he couldn't sleep. He wanted to take care of her the way she was taking care of him, but he didn't know how.

Instead he drove to the cemetery and talked to his mom. Talking to her had always made him feel better even though it's been a long time since she could answer him, but it didn't work. He earned a few stares when he started sobbing, sitting next to her headstone and he felt the urge to scream at them.

"I'm so sorry, mom. I should have never brought him to New York. I knew we wouldn't have much time for him, but I thought just spending time with me would help him," he sobbed, expecting Blaine to show up any minute now and take care of him.

But his fiancé never did. It seemed that with Finn's death they had forgotten how to take care of one another. Kurt lost count of how much time he spent at the cemetery seeking solace from his dead mother, but when he finally returned home, Carole swept him into her arms, and begged him to never stay out this long again without telling anyone where he was going. It made him feel even worse, knowing that he'd caused her to worry about him on top of everything else.

Like the night before no one in the family really touched their food and while Kurt had told his friends he wasn't ready to see them yet, he was glad when Mercedes came by after dinner and he could cry his eyes out in her arms. Mercedes didn't offer platitudes, clearly shaken up as well even though she and Finn hadn't really stayed in touch after high school.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked when Kurt finally calmed down a bit and he immediately shook his head.

He couldn't tell her how much he blamed himself and Blaine because he knew she'd try to convince him that it wasn't true. She didn't know the whole story and if she knew he was certain she would blame him as well. He was actually surprised that his dad and Carole weren't. Maybe they would once they've gotten over the shock. Kurt certainly deserved their anger.

When he went to bed later that night, Blaine was already snoring lightly and Kurt lay down as far away from him as possible. He didn't feel like he deserved to be in Blaine's arms when Finn would never get to do that again with the person he loved.

* * *

The weather on the day of Finn's funeral seemed to mock them. It was a beautiful August day, the sun shining down on them with not a cloud in sight. Kurt was surprised by how many people showed up and touched when a large group of high school students filed into the church led by principle Silvester.

Everyone who could make it back to Lima was there. The New Directions old and new, Finn's college friends, Carley – after asking Carole for permission – the McKinley teachers and students. Only Mike was missing because he was working for a dance company overseas and Puck, who had become Finn's best friend at McKinley and remained it, because he was too heartbroken. Kurt knew that the two of them had been like brothers and Kurt didn't fault him for not feeling strong enough to be there. If it weren't for his family, he wasn't sure if he would be here either.

He tuned out while the pastor spoke, never really having felt comfortable in a church, his hands folded in his lap. Blaine had offered his hand and Kurt had to look away so he didn't see his fiancé's hurt look when he didn't accept it.

Carole had asked him if he wanted to say a few words and while he had considered it, he decided that ultimately he couldn't do it. He had however decided to sing with the Glee club, after Rachel had suggested 'Seasons of Love'.

Their voices came together seamlessly even though they hadn't sung together in years and Kurt finally slipped his hand into Blaine's when they reached the end of the first verse.

___Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred_ minutes, how do you measure, measure a year?

Blaine took a step forward but Kurt didn't let go of his hand when his fiancé sang the next lines.

_In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in stride. In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure a year in the live?_

They all sang together again before Kurt took a deep breath, pushed the tears back down and focused on what he had learned in years of vocal coaching.

_In truths that he learned. Or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned. Or the way that he died._

He didn't even think about changing the pronouns but did subconsciously. When Mercedes finished them off with a killer high note, he finally let go and let the tears fall. Both Carole and his dad were openly crying as well and as he looked around it appeared that there were no dry eyes in the church. His brother had been loved and it drove home that he and his family weren't the only ones who had lost someone. No matter what people thought about Finn's death, it was tragic. It was way too soon.

* * *

His dad invited him to stay after the funeral but he and Blaine both had jobs to get back to. Until Blaine got his trust fun when he turned twenty-five in a few months they couldn't afford to miss a pay check if they wanted to pay for their shoe box sized apartment. His dad and Carole had offered to help them out financially more than once, but even though the shop was doing well and the restaurant was making a profit these days, Kurt knew his parents were still paying the mortgage for the house and the cancer his dad had been diagnosed with three years ago had added to the hospital bills to pay since his dad's heart attack.

They didn't talk on the plane back to New York, just like they had barely talked since they had come home from the hospital.

"We need to get rid off the couch," was the only thing Kurt told Blaine as they took the subway back to their apartment.

"You know we can't afford a new one," Blaine reminded him and for some reason it made him unbelievably angry.

"I don't give a fuck about that right now. We don't even own a TV so why the hell do we need a couch," he snapped.

No one even paid any attention to them and Kurt was grateful New Yorker were used to crazy people on the subway.

"Whatever, Kurt. Do what you want. As long as it makes you feel better," Blaine replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt couldn't believe Blaine.

"He was my brother too," Blaine suddenly yelled loud enough to turn a few heads.

Kurt paused, because he hadn't seen it like that before. But now that he thought about it, it was true. They had both met Finn at the same time and had shared a house with him for a year; they had gone on more than one family vacation together over the years; had conspired against their parents together. And even after Blaine had moved in with his mother, he had always been treated like one of the family and Finn had always treated Blaine the same as Kurt.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said quietly, but kept staring at his hands. "You're right, this doesn't just affect me."

"Thank you."

Kurt heard Blaine's voice crack and he finally opened his arms to Blaine.

* * *

Instead of things getting better between them, they got worse once they had to go back to work. They started fighting, mostly about the most trivial things. And they knew each other so well, they knew how to make it hurt. Kurt accused Blaine of not caring enough when he booked an audition a month after the funeral. Blaine retorted that not both of them could eat their feelings because they were broke for fuck's sake.

When Kurt was invited to audition for a role that seemed to have been written for him, he turned it down. Blaine was furious.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself. Finn would want you to be happy," he yelled.

"Well, we don't know what Finn would want, do we? Because you introduced him to a drug addict," Kurt yelled back.

He suddenly understood why people in movies threw plates during fights because he felt the urge to smash something that wasn't Blaine's face.

"I may have introduced them but you drove him into her arms with your constant nagging."

"Like you were okay with his behavior," Kurt retorted and put his mug down before he could actually throw it at Blaine.

In all their years together, they had never fought like that and Kurt hated it, but not enough to stop now that they were both saying what they were really thinking.

"I don't know Kurt. It's hard to say no to you when you get really invested in a cause."

Kurt froze because was that really what Blaine thought about him? That he always had to be right. Was Blaine really afraid to challenge him, because if he was then something was seriously wrong with their relationship, more than them falling apart and not knowing how to help the other.

He looked at the silver band around his finger. The one Blaine had put there after their college graduation two years ago. Blaine wore a matching one, the one Kurt had gotten for him, because he didn't want to be the only one to wear an engagement ring. He had barely take it off in twenty-eight month and when he tried to take it off it was as if the ring was fighting him.

Kurt placed it carefully on the coffee table in front of him before he looked up at Blaine. Blaine had paled and was staring at Kurt in shock.

"Is that, do you want to break up? Kurt, please. I know things have been difficult, but you're still the love of my live, my soul mate," Blaine rushed out and Kurt felt like throwing up, just thinking about losing Blaine for good.

"No!" he nearly shouted. "But I'm starting to think we still don't know each other well enough to get married and to be honest I need some space before I do something I'm really going to regret."

There were tears in Blaine's eyes and Kurt had to look away before he snatched up the ring and put it back where it belonged.

"I'm gonna ask Rachel if I can stay with her for a few days," he informed Blaine before he ran into their bedroom and hastily threw clothes into a bag.

Blaine still stood frozen on the spot when Kurt returned and Kurt approached him cautiously before he pressed a quick kiss to Blaine's cheek.

"You're not losing me. I'm never saying goodbye to you, remember?"

Blaine nodded with tears streaming down his face.

"I love you," Blaine called after him just before he could close the door behind him and Kurt raised his voice to make sure Blaine heard him when he returned the sentiment.

* * *

Kurt stayed with Rachel and Jesse for a week and it took his best friend three days to tell him her news.

"I'm pregnant," she confided in him as they were sitting on her couch and stuffed their faces with cheesecake. "Almost three months."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt asked before he pulled her into his arms.

"Obviously this was not planned but Jesse and I are still so happy about it. It didn't feel right to make you deal with this so soon after Finn," Rachel explained, her hand resting over the small baby bump Kurt noticed now that he knew it was there.

"But that's good news if you're happy about it. You can always tell me good news Rachel," Kurt assured his best friend.

"Okay then. The good news is that the doctor thinks I can finish the play and Jesse is in the running for a role on Broadway. Not lead but it would pay us enough to move into a bigger apartment. And we're probably going to get married after the baby's born."

Kurt promptly burst into tears.

"I'd offer you our venue had we already picked one."

This time Rachel wrapped him up in her arms.

"Oh Kurt. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything about the wedding. But I know you and Blaine will make it work. You are like Jesse and I, high school sweethearts destined to stay together."

"I really hope so. I miss him so much, but I also don't think I can be near him right now. I just hope he's okay."

"He's staying with Santana. She and Brittany are off again and she told me she can use the company."

Kurt already knew that because Blaine had texted him to let him know, but he was glad to hear that Santana actually needed him. After all, Blaine lived for making others happy.

"So do you know what you're having?" he changed the subject. He'd offer his help as wedding planer when he could think about the event without bursting into tears. Rachel shook her head.

"It's too early, But Jesse and I, we're both hoping for a girl."

Of course they were, Kurt thought fondly.

"I can't wait to meet her," he said instead and meant it. Because a Rachel/Jesse baby was bound to be interesting.

"Actually there was something else we wanted to ask you and Blaine, but it's okay if you say no," Rachel continued cautiously and Kurt was definitely intrigued.

"You know I'm Jewish and Jesse is an atheist, but we still wanted to ask you to be godparents."

Kurt was touched that they had thought about him and Blaine first but what if he and Blaine didn't stay together. As if she could read his mind, Rachel put her hands over his.

"You and Blaine are going to make it. And I'll tell you daily if I have to until you believe me. Okay?" Kurt nodded slowly.

"I'll have to talk to Blaine first, but I'd love to be a godparent," he promised her.

* * *

Kurt returned to their apartment after the week at Rachel's but Blaine didn't. He texted to let him know that Santana needed him because she was sure this time she and Brittany broke up for good, and Kurt didn't ask him to come home either.

He just went through the motions. He got another shift at the 'Spotlight Diner' to keep him occupied but let the other waiters sing unless his boss was there and he had to. Afterward he wandered around aimlessly, cursing the fact that they couldn't afford to replace the TV after it broke the previous year. He got drunk with Tina when she moved to New York in late October after her breakup with Mike, but when he spent the next morning dry-heaving over the toilet, Blaine wasn't there to rub his back. Instead he held Tina's hair for her when it was her turn to throw up.

To distract himself from Blaine's absence and the guilt he still felt over Finn's death, he helped Tina pick acceptable roommates, because she couldn't afford her own place either. Tina was a great companion because she didn't force him to talk about his feelings and always shared her ice cream with him.

In early November, his dad called to asked about his plans for Thanksgiving. It would be their first one without Finn and Kurt didn't plan to go back to Lima for it. Blaine had to work, so he knew his boyfriend wasn't going either.

His dad didn't accept him not celebrating with the family and announced that they would come to him instead.

"Don't worry, we're going to stay in a hotel, but maybe Ethan could stay with you guys. I think spending time with you would be good for him," his dad explained.

"What about Casey?" Kurt deflected. He didn't want his parents to know that he and Blaine weren't living together at the moment.

"They found an aunt of hers who's willing to take her in and Thanksgiving break could be a trial run for them," his dad replied and Kurt knew he would lose this argument. Nevertheless he tried once more.

"We don't have a couch anymore."

His dad didn't ask why, and Kurt was grateful.

"We'll think of something."

"All right. Just let me know when you'll be arriving," he sighed.

He wanted to see his family, of course he did, but having them all in one room would only highlight that one person was missing. And he wasn't ready for that.

After his dad hung up the phone, he texted Blaine.

"Family's coming for Thanksgiving. Please be here or explain to my dad why you are not."

"Text me when," Blaine replied a few moments later and Kurt told him he'd keep him posted.

* * *

Blaine arrived home after Carole, Ethan and his dad did, a grocery bag in hand.

"Sorry I'm late. There was such a long line," he greeted Kurt's family and kissed his cheek.

They both were good actors and right now their education came in handy.

Kurt accepted the bag and shooed Blaine out of the tiny kitchen where he and Carole were preparing dinner.

"Burt, you shouldn't have," he heard Blaine say and assumed his boyfriend had discovered the couch his family had brought along.

It was a pull out, smaller than the one they had, but very comfortable according to Ethan who got to test it at the store.

Kurt focused his attention on the pumpkin pie recipe in front of him and tried to tune out the chatter from the living room. His dad, Blaine and Ethan were watching the game on Blaine's laptop, and while they still cheered and booed when the other team scored, Finn's absence was palpable.

"Are you and Blaine doing okay?" Carole suddenly asked and Kurt froze for a moment before he smiled at her.

"It's still really hard for both of us, but we're okay. Why are asking?" Kurt wondered.

"Neither of you is wearing your rings," Carole observed and Kurt looked down on his naked ring finger.

"I took it off. Nearly lost it inside a Turkey once before," he quipped while trying to come up with a reason why Blaine wasn't wearing his.

"And I took Blaine's to the jewelry store where we bought our wedding rings to have it cleaned," he added.

"Don't tell me you've finally set a date?" Carole gushed immediately. "Who would have thought that you would end up being engaged for three years."

"We don't," Kurt informed her quickly. "We just saw the rings and had to buy them."

That much was true. They had bought their wedding bands nearly a year ago.

"Okay. Just let us know when you set a date. And Kurt. You can always come to us. No matter what's going on, okay?"

Kurt nodded. Judging by the way Carole looked at him, he wasn't such a good actor after all.

After Carole and his dad departed for their hotel, he and Blaine took Ethan on top of the Rockefeller Center. His younger brother had visited New York before but it was the first time Carole and his dad allowed him to be out at night, and Kurt hadn't had it in him to say no when Ethan had asked.

He and Blaine held hands because they didn't want Ethan to think anything was wrong – and because Kurt had missed holding his boyfriend's hand – and after saying good night to Ethan, they went to bed together for the first time since their fight and the end off their engagement.

When Blaine opened his arms for him, Kurt didn't hesitate to move closer and rest his head on Blaine's chest. For a while he just listened to his boyfriend's steady heartbeat but suddenly it wasn't enough anymore. He was done with feeling numb; desperate to just feel anything but apathetic.

Blaine didn't argue when Kurt pushed him down and smashed their lips together. They stripped off their clothes quickly, before they fucked. They had to keep it down for Ethan's sake and Kurt was glad Blaine didn't talk like he usually did because he wanted to concentrate on just feeling.

"Please stay after my parents leave," he pleaded when they were done. "Don't leave me alone here. I need you. Even if I have a hard time showing it."

They held each other tight and Kurt didn't let go of Blaine until he promised to stay.

Ethan wouldn't look them in the eye the next morning, leading Kurt to believe they hadn't been as quiet as they thought after all. Thankfully, the fifteen-year old didn't say anything to their parents when they came by to pick the three of them up for breakfast, but Kurt still felt bad about it.

It was the first time in years that he skipped black Friday shopping, but Carole wasn't in the mood either and Ethan thought it was uncool to go shopping with his parents in typical teenager fashion. Instead the family took a walk through Central Park after breakfast and watched Ethan ice skate.

* * *

Like he promised, Blaine didn't return to Santana's apartment after his parents left and after talking it over with him, Kurt called Rachel to tell her that they'd be happy to be godparents.

Two weeks before Christmas, Blaine got offered a role in an off Broadway play. Kurt tried not to resent him for it, because he knew Blaine worked hard and deserved to be successful. It wasn't his boyfriend's fault that Kurt hadn't auditioned for anything since Finn's death. So he congratulated Blaine and suppressed any negative feelings as well as he could.

They didn't fight as much as they did before, but they were also nowhere near okay again. It felt like neither dared to speak his mind, afraid to start another fight and ruin the relationship for good.

Christmas Eve, Kurt finally broke down. Blaine had elected to spend the night with his mother, his cousin Sunshine and his mom's boyfriend Peter at Peter's house in Dayton and when Kurt had offered to accompany him, Blaine had told him it was okay if he didn't.

When Carole asked him later that night while they were doing the dishes why he wasn't with Blaine and if he was sure he was okay, he fell into her arms and started to cry.

"Nothing feels right anymore," he sobbed. "I broke off the engagement and it feels like we're not even a couple anymore even though we didn't break up."

Carole let him cry in her arms until he managed to calm down.

"Just, how do you and Dad do it? How do you support the other when you're both hurting." Maybe it helped that they didn't have to blame themselves.

"Let's sit down, honey," Carole told him and led him upstairs to his room.

"Your dad and I, we've been seeing a grief counselor since after the funeral. Sometimes together and sometimes on our own," she continued when they sat next to each other on his bed.

"Is it helping?" Kurt asked and whipped his nose with the sleeve of his shirt.

"It helps to have someone to talk to who isn't involved. It doesn't magically take the pain away, but it's been helping us deal," Carole explained, a pained smile on her face. "Maybe that's something you and Blaine should think about as well. Couple's counseling or individual counseling. There's nothing wrong with asking for help."

Therapy. Kurt had never actually considered it. Social services had offered counseling to him after his mother passed but with the sudden move to Texas it had never happened. And after Finn's tragic death his thoughts had been somewhere else. He didn't know what Blaine's thoughts on the subject were but if it was going to help them move forward in their relationship and deal with their guilt it was worth to give it a shot.

"I'll talk to Blaine about it. Thank you Carole."

* * *

"You want us to go to couple's counseling?" Blaine repeated when Kurt brought up the subject the next morning after they exchanged gifts with his family. Kurt nodded.

"Carole suggested we'd try grief or couple's counseling," he explained, his eyes trained on Blaine's face.

Blaine's shoulders slumped but he nodded.

"I think it's clear that we can't deal with it on our own, but can we afford it?"

Kurt thought about it for a moment. Neither of their jobs afforded them health insurance and he wasn't sure if the plan they were paying for would cover for therapy.

"You'll get your trust fund money in about a month. I'm sure my parents or your mom would loan us the money so we don't have to wait till then."

Asking for money was never easy but this was for their future and Kurt could swallow his pride for it.

His parents' counselor suggested a colleague in New York and Kurt set up an appointment for the second of January. After speaking with the grief counselor for more than an hour, she recommended they'd take up couple's counseling as well, just as Carole had suggested.

They were both mentally exhausted after the first session, but it felt good to get certain things off his chest. After the first joint session he and Blaine went on their own and Kurt never asked what Blaine talked about in those meetings. Instead they talked things through with the couple's counselor they saw once a week.

It was her who suggested a fresh start after Blaine received his second trust fund on his twenty-fifth birthday. With the help of a realtor they found a new apartment. A little closer to the city but not much bigger than the one they had spent the past two and a half years in. After all, they still needed to save money until at least one of them made it big.

After seeing a therapist for a few weeks, Kurt went on his first audition since July. He wasn't surprised when he didn't get a call back but he was finally ready to start living his life again.

Blaine didn't fare much better. Even though the reviews had been good, he hadn't found a new job after the play he was in closed.

It was an evening spent with cheesecake, ice cream and a bottle of wine to commiserate their lack of success when they came up with the idea to write their own musical. Blaine was a good composer, having written the music for original plays in college and after minoring in composition and Kurt had always enjoyed writing short stories and one act plays.

His dad had told him once that if he wasn't right for the roles out there, then maybe he had to create his own. Maybe it was time to follow his dad's advice.

Christmas 2038

"So wait; Papa proposed after college and you were engaged forever. And then you weren't engaged for years until Dad proposed?" Alex asks and Blaine nods.

"You've heard the story of Dad proposing to me. Don't you want to hear about the time we wrote 'Seasons of Love'.

Ella, Alex and Jake shake their heads. Well, Blaine's not going to argue with them. After all, it's surprising they are still here now that they have electricity again.

"I've been thinking about marrying your dad for a long time before I actually proposed, but once our college graduation was right around the corner I knew it was time."


End file.
